Sometimes I would get into conversations with my colleagues in the Nursing field and talk about our career choices. Being the youngest amongst the group, I'd always end up being asked the most. I would tell the truth - passed all exams, modeled, working on getting my master's degree, etc. 8 out of 10 times they'd appear shocked; others would belittle me thinking that I just barely made the Nursing school cutoff. When they do find out what my BSN GPA was, they'd pause for a moment and wonder why I wasted (ouch!) a year modeling rather than starting up my career.
Here comes the complicated explanation...
After grad, my folks thought that I was too naive compared to the kids my age who have grown in other parts of the world. They are right at some point coz I gravely felt the drastic need for maturity during my stay in San Francisco. Since mom modeled at my age, she thought it was a great ground to be oriented to the real world, as they say Aramco life is like living in a fantasy world (no comment about that stereotype). And oh yeah, reality did knock me out good! It was like taking a crash course in life, with only five days til the make-or-break exam.
I stayed in the business for almost four months. Everything seemed so surreal, with every click of the SLR camera slowly taking away my Nursing knowledge. The business truly is addicting. It's like your thirst for popularity and advancement gets stronger as the days go by. I believe that my moral values were tested to the bones too, since one simple yes could skyrocket you to stardom but also possibly bring about undesired adverse effects to your future. Thankfully, I saved myself from falling into the trap. Baba saw the signs coming and immediately recalled me back to the Kingdom so I could remind myself my true reason for living.
Yes it was difficult to adjust back to what I was once knew was the normal life. I couldn't get anywhere past the main gate without baba or the driver taking me and I couldn't casually hang out with a man friend convincing all on-lookers that we are just friends. LOL
I had to pick up my life from how it was prior to modeling. Believe me, its been six months and I am still struggling until today. God has been so gracious that He's blessed me a job and very supportive colleagues. My mind's still recovering from the amnesia brought by the flashing bulbs. Sometimes, I'd think I have caught the age bug since my brain doesn't seem to welcome textbook info anymore.
My colleagues -rather, mentors- would tell me how much more beneficial it would've been had I entered the Nursing field immediately after my exam. Right now, I wouldn't be this struggling amnesic RN trying to figure out what career path to take. Some say that my chances in North America and Europe would've been taken advantage properly of since all my requirements were set -except for the experience though. My ladder to success would've had lesser steps on it had I planned more wisely. Errr...
My folks tell me that I did mess up at some point last year (yes I admit to that), but they are thankful that I did it earlier on. Sometimes, being here in the sandbox makes me think I am currently messing up my life since I'm missing out on what normal people my age would be doing.
But, what IS normal?
It's such a personal criteria that I may be being normal for some and a waste for others. Whatever! I'm here and this is me. Maybe I'd read this post same time next year and laugh my head off on how confused I seemed at this time... Who knows??
I'm not shy to admit that I'd like -LOVE- to be like the big wigs of the hospital I work for. They don't know how inspired they make me each I get to sit down and talk to them.
Patience and determination is the key, but time is also of essence. I don't know why I was accepted to do the modeling job (there are farrrr more prettier girls than me) nor why I ended up back here (no not because my baba is Saudi, I believe it was choice to step foot on that plane in the first place).
Destiny doesn't only work for love, it also works for life... And now I think it's currently working its magic pretty darn good.
10.26.2009
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