Sometimes I would get into conversations with my colleagues in the Nursing field and talk about our career choices. Being the youngest amongst the group, I'd always end up being asked the most. I would tell the truth - passed all exams, modeled, working on getting my master's degree, etc. 8 out of 10 times they'd appear shocked; others would belittle me thinking that I just barely made the Nursing school cutoff. When they do find out what my BSN GPA was, they'd pause for a moment and wonder why I wasted (ouch!) a year modeling rather than starting up my career.
Here comes the complicated explanation...
After grad, my folks thought that I was too naive compared to the kids my age who have grown in other parts of the world. They are right at some point coz I gravely felt the drastic need for maturity during my stay in San Francisco. Since mom modeled at my age, she thought it was a great ground to be oriented to the real world, as they say Aramco life is like living in a fantasy world (no comment about that stereotype). And oh yeah, reality did knock me out good! It was like taking a crash course in life, with only five days til the make-or-break exam.
I stayed in the business for almost four months. Everything seemed so surreal, with every click of the SLR camera slowly taking away my Nursing knowledge. The business truly is addicting. It's like your thirst for popularity and advancement gets stronger as the days go by. I believe that my moral values were tested to the bones too, since one simple yes could skyrocket you to stardom but also possibly bring about undesired adverse effects to your future. Thankfully, I saved myself from falling into the trap. Baba saw the signs coming and immediately recalled me back to the Kingdom so I could remind myself my true reason for living.
Yes it was difficult to adjust back to what I was once knew was the normal life. I couldn't get anywhere past the main gate without baba or the driver taking me and I couldn't casually hang out with a man friend convincing all on-lookers that we are just friends. LOL
I had to pick up my life from how it was prior to modeling. Believe me, its been six months and I am still struggling until today. God has been so gracious that He's blessed me a job and very supportive colleagues. My mind's still recovering from the amnesia brought by the flashing bulbs. Sometimes, I'd think I have caught the age bug since my brain doesn't seem to welcome textbook info anymore.
My colleagues -rather, mentors- would tell me how much more beneficial it would've been had I entered the Nursing field immediately after my exam. Right now, I wouldn't be this struggling amnesic RN trying to figure out what career path to take. Some say that my chances in North America and Europe would've been taken advantage properly of since all my requirements were set -except for the experience though. My ladder to success would've had lesser steps on it had I planned more wisely. Errr...
My folks tell me that I did mess up at some point last year (yes I admit to that), but they are thankful that I did it earlier on. Sometimes, being here in the sandbox makes me think I am currently messing up my life since I'm missing out on what normal people my age would be doing.
But, what IS normal?
It's such a personal criteria that I may be being normal for some and a waste for others. Whatever! I'm here and this is me. Maybe I'd read this post same time next year and laugh my head off on how confused I seemed at this time... Who knows??
I'm not shy to admit that I'd like -LOVE- to be like the big wigs of the hospital I work for. They don't know how inspired they make me each I get to sit down and talk to them.
Patience and determination is the key, but time is also of essence. I don't know why I was accepted to do the modeling job (there are farrrr more prettier girls than me) nor why I ended up back here (no not because my baba is Saudi, I believe it was choice to step foot on that plane in the first place).
Destiny doesn't only work for love, it also works for life... And now I think it's currently working its magic pretty darn good.
10.26.2009
10.24.2009
back!!!
OMG, it's been like... what? Two months since my last post? Yeah I got kinda lazy to log on my blogger account to type something up. Instead, I've been reading others' blogs and I'm amazed by how they could write about anything any time! Talk about talent :)
Well, the weather has changed in the sandbox, which makes me happy each time I step out of the house. I loved how the Aramco weather tower flashed 79F the other night, four more degrees down and it's the temperature I've always loved since my SF days. Too bad the cafe on Kings Road got this dating reputation, I can't sit al fresco enjoying my coffee without some weird man thinking I'm awaiting some hook-up. Arrrgh.
I think homesickness is slowly withering away my system now. My folks sat me down and talked about how they felt each time I complained about not having a normal life here in the Kingdom, despite the fact of living in Aramco. I always felt they didn't understand me, but it was truly the other way around---I didn't understand them. My selfishness blinded me from seeing how happy they were having me around after seven years of being away. Mom said that life isn't about counting friends, but having those you can count on. I guess it's easier to figure that out in this part of the world, where you can classify people's lifestyles in well-defined categories--seriously!!
On the other hand, baba had a one-on-one with me about how weirded out he felt whenever I'd worry so much about not having a man liking me. I start whining and he stops me right there. Baba said that I was beautiful and smart enough -mashallah- to attract a man from any part of the world, I just need to have that breeze of confidence around me. Baba that is never gonna happen! My clock is ticking and I only got like four years left before my wedding bells start ringing. For those who don't know, it took me six years to move on from one relationship to the next. With that in mind, baba commented that my first relationship was like puppy love and the gap was coz of university... etc.
The topic went on until the both of us decided to head out and grab something from Casper and Gambini's. Thank God the Blackberry was tame all night. The circumstances are a lot different now than it had been before. My experiences are sufficient enough to know who and what is right for me. I only worry about getting ready on time for work and completing my master's degree, I'd like to believe that the more financially stable and equally mature men are just at my fingertips. BUT, the worldly vices is the killer. Baba said that regardless of how many vices there are in the world, if God has provided this man for you, he will be protected from them all. Oh inshallah baba, inshallah! Baba wracked my head in the car to get all the worry out and I laughed hard as he did it.
Baba's wisdom: "The right man will come looking for you, don't hide under your worry."
Yeah, I enjoyed being with him coz of the insight I get. See, baba isn't the traditional type of man, he doesn't impose instead he lets you learn the lessons hard. Although I can tell he's sort of supervising my adventures, he'll allow me to test the waters but pull me up just as I'm about to drown. And by 'just as' I literally mean just as! Mom assured me that they won't setup my life as how my friends' families have done to their daughters. I'm free to choose---wisely! LOL
So cheers to my ex-boyfriend who I'm already 110% sure I won't go back to, and to my crush who hasn't dropped a hint on me this month. Yalla habibi, you two have lost your chance coz I'm now putting everything in God's and Allah's hands!
:)
Well, the weather has changed in the sandbox, which makes me happy each time I step out of the house. I loved how the Aramco weather tower flashed 79F the other night, four more degrees down and it's the temperature I've always loved since my SF days. Too bad the cafe on Kings Road got this dating reputation, I can't sit al fresco enjoying my coffee without some weird man thinking I'm awaiting some hook-up. Arrrgh.
I think homesickness is slowly withering away my system now. My folks sat me down and talked about how they felt each time I complained about not having a normal life here in the Kingdom, despite the fact of living in Aramco. I always felt they didn't understand me, but it was truly the other way around---I didn't understand them. My selfishness blinded me from seeing how happy they were having me around after seven years of being away. Mom said that life isn't about counting friends, but having those you can count on. I guess it's easier to figure that out in this part of the world, where you can classify people's lifestyles in well-defined categories--seriously!!
On the other hand, baba had a one-on-one with me about how weirded out he felt whenever I'd worry so much about not having a man liking me. I start whining and he stops me right there. Baba said that I was beautiful and smart enough -mashallah- to attract a man from any part of the world, I just need to have that breeze of confidence around me. Baba that is never gonna happen! My clock is ticking and I only got like four years left before my wedding bells start ringing. For those who don't know, it took me six years to move on from one relationship to the next. With that in mind, baba commented that my first relationship was like puppy love and the gap was coz of university... etc.
The topic went on until the both of us decided to head out and grab something from Casper and Gambini's. Thank God the Blackberry was tame all night. The circumstances are a lot different now than it had been before. My experiences are sufficient enough to know who and what is right for me. I only worry about getting ready on time for work and completing my master's degree, I'd like to believe that the more financially stable and equally mature men are just at my fingertips. BUT, the worldly vices is the killer. Baba said that regardless of how many vices there are in the world, if God has provided this man for you, he will be protected from them all. Oh inshallah baba, inshallah! Baba wracked my head in the car to get all the worry out and I laughed hard as he did it.
Baba's wisdom: "The right man will come looking for you, don't hide under your worry."
Yeah, I enjoyed being with him coz of the insight I get. See, baba isn't the traditional type of man, he doesn't impose instead he lets you learn the lessons hard. Although I can tell he's sort of supervising my adventures, he'll allow me to test the waters but pull me up just as I'm about to drown. And by 'just as' I literally mean just as! Mom assured me that they won't setup my life as how my friends' families have done to their daughters. I'm free to choose---wisely! LOL
So cheers to my ex-boyfriend who I'm already 110% sure I won't go back to, and to my crush who hasn't dropped a hint on me this month. Yalla habibi, you two have lost your chance coz I'm now putting everything in God's and Allah's hands!
:)
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