This week I came down with a sore throat and contact dermatitis on my left arm. Trust me, it's not a fun combination. For one, I really needed to hide my rashes so that my patients wouldn't get frightened at the sight of it, and second I had to stifle my cough while inside hospital premises to keep people within a twelve inch radius around me. I didn't want to wear the face mask because I knew that would make people freak out even more. LOL. Don't worry, I've already sought treatment and got a day and a half off from work. Went home early Saturday, stayed in bed Sunday... and now here shiny and polished blogging during duty hours.
I had a lot of time last night so I checked out horoscope websites and read about August's forecast. Yes, I do believe in those, along with psychic readings and fortune tellers. It's exciting to sit and listen to them telling you what the future brings. I just don't go hardcore and pattern my destiny with what they tell me. The future is unknown, although these psychics say stuff, it's not real until it is real. I still believe in destiny and choice -- choice to make or break it.
Like I recall how my ex and I went to this renowned fortune teller in the Philippines last year. He said many great things about us and gave out this sparkly future of our relationship. Something about us supporting each other to make our dreams come true and blah blah blah. He also mentioned about how we needed our parents approval first. I give this psychic credit for revealing accurate information about our relationship that we have never told anyone. He also gave us such a great overview of our destiny which didn't come to a realization since it was my ex and I chose to break up (something Mr. Psychic never mentioned would happen).
Get my point?
Here's my August forecast link: http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/pisces_full.php
At the end of the month, I like to look back and see if any of what's written did come true. I didn't want to read the whole page again, so I just scrolled down to the Pisces Dates to Note.
August 5: Hmmm... I don't recall any secrets.
August 13: New house? Nada. Yes, we had dinner with a family friend.
August 18: Oh yeah, baba's secretary. Uggghhhh... loooooong story. And yes, our house is still standing... no electrical problems to make it burn down. Thank God!
August 21: Not applicable. LOL
August 22: Yes, I think romance did sparkle. ;)
August 26: Probably work??
Gee, it also mentioned about refreshing your appearance. True. My hair is in dire need of a new hairstyle and haircolor touch-up, but I still don't know which sane beauty salon to go to. I'm very picky when it comes to hair and skin care, that when I was in the Philippines, only my Japanese or Malaysian hairstylist could touch my hair... and they were living two cities away from me! Yes, I am willing to go through all that trouble in the name of vanity. Slap me now.
And yesterday was a most romantic day for me. Oh Lord, I in bed alone at home with two maids and a driver. Truly romantic.
I wouldn't say that this was a horrorscope but it is quite accurate once you read her lengthy monthly forecast. This woman is one of the more reliable psychics I have found on the internet. If any of you, my dear readers, know a better site, please leave it at the comments section.
Life is what we make of it. I have some friends who are so hardcore on these stuff that they can't even make a decision without reading what the planets, stars, and sun have to say. Oh boy, imagine how much fun our conversations are. Mars being on retrograde? LOL!! You've got to be kidding me. But my love still goes out to them. Seriously.
8.31.2009
8.25.2009
the world seems to be on pause
Work's really a drag during the holy month of Ramadan. Like yesterday, I only had enough patients to count on one hand. The longest eight hours of my life... on the upside it's easy money and people are maintaining great health. Alhamduliallah (is my spelling correct?!)! On the downside, it's really a challenge to be stuck in front of a computer with company monitored internet access and co-workers you don't have much to talk about with after draining all juicy gossip on the first two days of this informal vacation. LOL.
Since Saturday, I've caught myself packed up and staring at the clock on the wall ready to bolt out at the strike of four. Incredible.
The good thing is that I don't go home feeling so wiped out. Speaking of which, I feel my world took a hundred eighty degree turn seeing baba greet me at the door when he'd usually stay at the office until mom calls for dinner. Thank God it's Ramadan. Baba's home by 1pm, gets to do more home-y stuff, and actually sits and talks to me about anythinggggg!
Which is what we did after I got home. We were talking about what to prepare for the iftar since baba fasts and we get guests coming in and out throughout the evening. Yes, I don't fast, well I did before but since I've become so confused on which religious path to take, baba has given up on me and just wished me well. It's a looooong story, trust me. In the Philippines I attended Roman Catholic services, in China I did the Buddhist and Taoist rituals, and when I was in the States and Europe I joined a lot of Christian Fellowship. Don't get me wrong, I do have Islam running inside my veins. In fact, I've been reading the Qu'ran and following certain practices. Now please, no negative reactions!!!
So baba decided to have some cake tonight. I volunteered to make some strawberry cheesecake but he didn't want to tire me out and instead asked me to pick something up at Anoosh. Oh, my fave cake shop! I just can't wait to get my foot at the door and be amazed by their creations. Although it is a trip downtown, it's soooo worth it. We also agreed on some hummus, fruit skewers, dates, clam chowder, prawns, steamed veggies, and um ali. Our family isn't a big fan of oily calorie packed food... as you can tell.
I took my computer with me so I could catch up on my reading during the trip, but instead I came across some really interesting blogs. I am a sucker on web browsing. Seriously, the only websites I'm always on are hotmail, yahoo, aol, facebook, and google... the rest are alien to me. Thankfully, I've cracked the code and expanded my world wide web. LOL.
What caught my attention most were the cartoon-like images people have been posting on their profiles. I see my Saudi friends have it on facebook and some bloggers too. At first I thought it was the wackiest thing to do... I mean, why put a cartoon-like image that looks exactly like you rather than put an actual picture??? What's the point in hiding your true identity if the resemblance is so close? I just don't get it.
The funny thing is I've been on the computer for the last three hours googling a site that could help me make this cartoon-like image! Can you believe it? The bug has bitten me too! LMAO. I found that yahoo offers the 'avatar' for use only around the site, so screw that. I also got in a Japanese on but it created weird images I just couldn't put my finger on. No luck yet.
So, if anybody knows how to make these cartoon-like images, please comment and leave websites or directions. I'm getting so jittery about this that I think I'll be losing sleep until I nail it. LOL.
My friends were also calling me to go out and exercise with them... by this they mean shopping. Yes, downtown is flooded with huge red signs screaming SALE! and people or rather women competing to bag the greatest bargain ever. Call me kill joy for declining such an invite, but I don't get the point of buying something I don't really need. I have already gone through the phase of impulsive shopping and I've firmly said goodbye. What's the point of getting a five SAR garment that is so inconvenient to my wardrobe? I've written about this previously and I don't want to start ranting about this topic again. Period. LOL.
Take me out for dinner at Amici's or coffee instead.
Okay so my mind's all over the place, so many topics in one post. So lemme just end it here now. Ohhh, the joys of having life on pause. Sweet.
Since Saturday, I've caught myself packed up and staring at the clock on the wall ready to bolt out at the strike of four. Incredible.
The good thing is that I don't go home feeling so wiped out. Speaking of which, I feel my world took a hundred eighty degree turn seeing baba greet me at the door when he'd usually stay at the office until mom calls for dinner. Thank God it's Ramadan. Baba's home by 1pm, gets to do more home-y stuff, and actually sits and talks to me about anythinggggg!
Which is what we did after I got home. We were talking about what to prepare for the iftar since baba fasts and we get guests coming in and out throughout the evening. Yes, I don't fast, well I did before but since I've become so confused on which religious path to take, baba has given up on me and just wished me well. It's a looooong story, trust me. In the Philippines I attended Roman Catholic services, in China I did the Buddhist and Taoist rituals, and when I was in the States and Europe I joined a lot of Christian Fellowship. Don't get me wrong, I do have Islam running inside my veins. In fact, I've been reading the Qu'ran and following certain practices. Now please, no negative reactions!!!
So baba decided to have some cake tonight. I volunteered to make some strawberry cheesecake but he didn't want to tire me out and instead asked me to pick something up at Anoosh. Oh, my fave cake shop! I just can't wait to get my foot at the door and be amazed by their creations. Although it is a trip downtown, it's soooo worth it. We also agreed on some hummus, fruit skewers, dates, clam chowder, prawns, steamed veggies, and um ali. Our family isn't a big fan of oily calorie packed food... as you can tell.
I took my computer with me so I could catch up on my reading during the trip, but instead I came across some really interesting blogs. I am a sucker on web browsing. Seriously, the only websites I'm always on are hotmail, yahoo, aol, facebook, and google... the rest are alien to me. Thankfully, I've cracked the code and expanded my world wide web. LOL.
What caught my attention most were the cartoon-like images people have been posting on their profiles. I see my Saudi friends have it on facebook and some bloggers too. At first I thought it was the wackiest thing to do... I mean, why put a cartoon-like image that looks exactly like you rather than put an actual picture??? What's the point in hiding your true identity if the resemblance is so close? I just don't get it.
The funny thing is I've been on the computer for the last three hours googling a site that could help me make this cartoon-like image! Can you believe it? The bug has bitten me too! LMAO. I found that yahoo offers the 'avatar' for use only around the site, so screw that. I also got in a Japanese on but it created weird images I just couldn't put my finger on. No luck yet.
So, if anybody knows how to make these cartoon-like images, please comment and leave websites or directions. I'm getting so jittery about this that I think I'll be losing sleep until I nail it. LOL.
My friends were also calling me to go out and exercise with them... by this they mean shopping. Yes, downtown is flooded with huge red signs screaming SALE! and people or rather women competing to bag the greatest bargain ever. Call me kill joy for declining such an invite, but I don't get the point of buying something I don't really need. I have already gone through the phase of impulsive shopping and I've firmly said goodbye. What's the point of getting a five SAR garment that is so inconvenient to my wardrobe? I've written about this previously and I don't want to start ranting about this topic again. Period. LOL.
Take me out for dinner at Amici's or coffee instead.
Okay so my mind's all over the place, so many topics in one post. So lemme just end it here now. Ohhh, the joys of having life on pause. Sweet.
8.23.2009
the art of letting go
This morning I was able to chat with my ex-boyfriend heart to heart. It wasn't easy at all since we've been having a lot of bitter arguments during the past two weeks, which all started with a simple miscommunication. He took what I was saying in a different way. So, with the help of the webcam, yes we've finally seen each other after two months, we were able to sort all issues out.
The love that we both share is not as strong as it is today. If before its strength surpassed the power of the deadliest weapon man has ever created, now its equivalent to one of a pebble. It has weakened.
I have long anticipated for this day, not because I don't want to love him anymore, but because I knew that this day will have to come, whether I like it or not. I used to fantasize the day when I'd see him again and we'd hug so tight that all bitter memories would be erased. BUT that didn't happen, and I am not sure it ever will. We have decided to part ways. Our eyes showed how sad the both of us have become. Despite my efforts to seem happy, my ex could see right through me. Although he knew it would hurt a lot, he told me that he's going to set me free.
He even asked me to make a promise to him that I would never settle for a man who wouldn't love and respect me as much as I deserve. He told me that I was a woman of a lot of worth, don't settle for any less. I cried all the tears my lacrimal ducts could possibly produce. I felt it came from his heart, all those words of letting go. To some it may seem like BS, but knowing him, I greatly appreciated every single syllable.
I, on the other hand, wished him only one thing: happiness. He is one of the best people I've known in this world and I don't why it's so difficult for him to go out and find another woman. It's too bad for me to say that he can't find someone better than me... Who am I to say that?? My ex treated me like a princess. He was very patient, generous, and loving to me.
Then the moment came. It was time to say "Goodbye, sweetheart" for the last time before letting go. I remember saying it with all the love I felt for him. My heart felt empty as I typed it to the screen. My tears were a continuous stream, somehow it felt like my body was letting go itself. Not only my heart was saying goodbye... my heart, body, and soul too.
He said his goodbye too. And just as I prayed to God for strength and guidance in helping me find another perfect man for me my phone beeped.
'Oh great' I thought as I groped for my phone. What a great way for someone to destroy such great drama. And when I phone reached my field of vision, I almost dropped it! A text message from Arabian Knight! As if it was like on cue... LOL.
My tears stopped suddenly and my chest gave a hearty laugh. I just couldn't believe it. Out of the blue, a text message from him... Just after I whispered a quick prayer to God and saying goodbye to my ex. OMG as in OH MY GOD seriously!
It took me a long time to process his text message and what to reply to him. The content was really funny though. He was just asking when the birthday of baba would be. My mind wasn't working so I just gave out a lame answer. I suggested that he ask baba--which I don't think he did. Anyway... yeah, it's on a really special day so I'm planning to surprise him. I just hope that mom doesn't pull one of her menopausal mood swings or else the party's off to the dumpster. I hope not, inshallah!
Back to topic!
I'm still quite sad about what happened with my ex and I. This afternoon was the first time I had the courage to re-read his emails and look at our pictures since our break up in April. It was the most difficult ordeal I had to go through but I had to do it. My heart shouldn't forget the feeling of love. I just hope and pray that someone like him or better will come along. Please God, provide.
Letting go takes love........
.....Yes, it took A LOT of love.
The love that we both share is not as strong as it is today. If before its strength surpassed the power of the deadliest weapon man has ever created, now its equivalent to one of a pebble. It has weakened.
I have long anticipated for this day, not because I don't want to love him anymore, but because I knew that this day will have to come, whether I like it or not. I used to fantasize the day when I'd see him again and we'd hug so tight that all bitter memories would be erased. BUT that didn't happen, and I am not sure it ever will. We have decided to part ways. Our eyes showed how sad the both of us have become. Despite my efforts to seem happy, my ex could see right through me. Although he knew it would hurt a lot, he told me that he's going to set me free.
He even asked me to make a promise to him that I would never settle for a man who wouldn't love and respect me as much as I deserve. He told me that I was a woman of a lot of worth, don't settle for any less. I cried all the tears my lacrimal ducts could possibly produce. I felt it came from his heart, all those words of letting go. To some it may seem like BS, but knowing him, I greatly appreciated every single syllable.
I, on the other hand, wished him only one thing: happiness. He is one of the best people I've known in this world and I don't why it's so difficult for him to go out and find another woman. It's too bad for me to say that he can't find someone better than me... Who am I to say that?? My ex treated me like a princess. He was very patient, generous, and loving to me.
Then the moment came. It was time to say "Goodbye, sweetheart" for the last time before letting go. I remember saying it with all the love I felt for him. My heart felt empty as I typed it to the screen. My tears were a continuous stream, somehow it felt like my body was letting go itself. Not only my heart was saying goodbye... my heart, body, and soul too.
He said his goodbye too. And just as I prayed to God for strength and guidance in helping me find another perfect man for me my phone beeped.
'Oh great' I thought as I groped for my phone. What a great way for someone to destroy such great drama. And when I phone reached my field of vision, I almost dropped it! A text message from Arabian Knight! As if it was like on cue... LOL.
My tears stopped suddenly and my chest gave a hearty laugh. I just couldn't believe it. Out of the blue, a text message from him... Just after I whispered a quick prayer to God and saying goodbye to my ex. OMG as in OH MY GOD seriously!
It took me a long time to process his text message and what to reply to him. The content was really funny though. He was just asking when the birthday of baba would be. My mind wasn't working so I just gave out a lame answer. I suggested that he ask baba--which I don't think he did. Anyway... yeah, it's on a really special day so I'm planning to surprise him. I just hope that mom doesn't pull one of her menopausal mood swings or else the party's off to the dumpster. I hope not, inshallah!
Back to topic!
I'm still quite sad about what happened with my ex and I. This afternoon was the first time I had the courage to re-read his emails and look at our pictures since our break up in April. It was the most difficult ordeal I had to go through but I had to do it. My heart shouldn't forget the feeling of love. I just hope and pray that someone like him or better will come along. Please God, provide.
Letting go takes love........
.....Yes, it took A LOT of love.
8.17.2009
oh.....me? seriously?
Last Wednesday, after what seemed to be the longest morning of my life, I attended an appreciation cocktail for my program here at the hospital. I was so clueless of what was going to happen that I didn't even to bother touching up my make-up or even combing my hair. All I knew was I skipped lunch so that I could get a free load-up of cocktails and an early pass home to Bahrain.
My friend and I was quietly chatting with each other when the recognition for the 'cream of the crop' was to be presented. The head of our program mentioned that there were two people who were going be awarded. That's when we paused for a bit then began placing our bets on who we thought would be called up. My friend rarely knew anyone so she chose the girl who was like the PA of the program head, I placed my bets on the girl who worked at the building across mine.
To our surprise, the first one called up was a guy. I have no clue where he was assigned or what his name was. When he was walking up to receive his award, my friend whispered that the next one would surely be a woman since a guy has already been called up. Okay, so our bets were still on.
Program head: "We also want to recognize warmsnowflakes* for her job well done.."
I sank deep in my seat. Did she just say my name? Is this for real? OMG!
My friend beamed this huge smile at me and told me to hurry up and get the award. I was still in a state of shock because I knew I just did my job not anything extraordinary. My mind was floating on so many questions yet I managed to walk up on stage and pose for the photo-op at the stage. My program head was so proud of me too; the hospital's top management was also present and I was shocked when the Director of Nursing personally congratulated me on my way back to sit. I never thought she'd remember how I looked like.
Majority of the participants in the program were women, I received a lot of stares while walking back. I even noticed how my bet stared at me as I walked back. My friend was so happy and congratulating me even as I sank back down in my seat. And then while everyone was being called up to receive certificates, my mind was spinning as I looked back the past couple of months to reflect on what special duty I've done.
Since I started working with the hospital, I've always always made sure I would walk the talk. If I told them I'm good at this, I am. If I'm not, please find someone else better. I believe that I did what every ordinary employee would do.
I catch myself staring at the certificate I received and I still can't believe why I was chosen. I can't stop thanking God for the blessing He has given me because I know that this honor will surely boost my chances of a brighter future. I just wish I was given a chance to talk after receiving the award, like the Oscars or Grammys, so I could share it with everyone else. Me being appreciated doesn't mean that everyone else just slacked.
If they had given me the opportunity to address the crowd, I'd tell them how humbling it feels to be representing a dignified crowd and how I'd like to share the recognition with everyone else. I remember how baba kept lecturing me on humility. He'd always say that regardless of how many recognitions or awards you've received, or maybe none at all, the most important thing that you should remember is:
You know you're good, and that's all there is to know.
I don't need to tell a thousand people about my recognition. Actually, I thought twice about writing this blog entry today... as you can tell, it's been five days since Wednesday. I wrote because I know that in a couple of days my face would right smack on glossy paper with the recognition cocktail's description around it for everyone to read! Honestly I'm feeling quite ambivalent because it's my first time to be published in this side of the world. I'm sure that many people will react and tell baba they have heard of his daughter's recent achievement, and inshallah all comments will be positive. I'm just a little nervous on how the picture would look like and what they'll be writing about me. I trust the columnist would write nice things about me and my quest for career advancement.
The attention it'll draw is unpredictable, but I'm really excited. It's like being a celebrity waiting for an ambush interview to be published. I don't wanna be so coy or snotty about this, but yeah... I hope it's good publicity.
And I'm now praying for miracles and opportunities around the corner. Wish me luck!
*sorry I can't put my real name
My friend and I was quietly chatting with each other when the recognition for the 'cream of the crop' was to be presented. The head of our program mentioned that there were two people who were going be awarded. That's when we paused for a bit then began placing our bets on who we thought would be called up. My friend rarely knew anyone so she chose the girl who was like the PA of the program head, I placed my bets on the girl who worked at the building across mine.
To our surprise, the first one called up was a guy. I have no clue where he was assigned or what his name was. When he was walking up to receive his award, my friend whispered that the next one would surely be a woman since a guy has already been called up. Okay, so our bets were still on.
Program head: "We also want to recognize warmsnowflakes* for her job well done.."
I sank deep in my seat. Did she just say my name? Is this for real? OMG!
My friend beamed this huge smile at me and told me to hurry up and get the award. I was still in a state of shock because I knew I just did my job not anything extraordinary. My mind was floating on so many questions yet I managed to walk up on stage and pose for the photo-op at the stage. My program head was so proud of me too; the hospital's top management was also present and I was shocked when the Director of Nursing personally congratulated me on my way back to sit. I never thought she'd remember how I looked like.
Majority of the participants in the program were women, I received a lot of stares while walking back. I even noticed how my bet stared at me as I walked back. My friend was so happy and congratulating me even as I sank back down in my seat. And then while everyone was being called up to receive certificates, my mind was spinning as I looked back the past couple of months to reflect on what special duty I've done.
Since I started working with the hospital, I've always always made sure I would walk the talk. If I told them I'm good at this, I am. If I'm not, please find someone else better. I believe that I did what every ordinary employee would do.
I catch myself staring at the certificate I received and I still can't believe why I was chosen. I can't stop thanking God for the blessing He has given me because I know that this honor will surely boost my chances of a brighter future. I just wish I was given a chance to talk after receiving the award, like the Oscars or Grammys, so I could share it with everyone else. Me being appreciated doesn't mean that everyone else just slacked.
If they had given me the opportunity to address the crowd, I'd tell them how humbling it feels to be representing a dignified crowd and how I'd like to share the recognition with everyone else. I remember how baba kept lecturing me on humility. He'd always say that regardless of how many recognitions or awards you've received, or maybe none at all, the most important thing that you should remember is:
You know you're good, and that's all there is to know.
I don't need to tell a thousand people about my recognition. Actually, I thought twice about writing this blog entry today... as you can tell, it's been five days since Wednesday. I wrote because I know that in a couple of days my face would right smack on glossy paper with the recognition cocktail's description around it for everyone to read! Honestly I'm feeling quite ambivalent because it's my first time to be published in this side of the world. I'm sure that many people will react and tell baba they have heard of his daughter's recent achievement, and inshallah all comments will be positive. I'm just a little nervous on how the picture would look like and what they'll be writing about me. I trust the columnist would write nice things about me and my quest for career advancement.
The attention it'll draw is unpredictable, but I'm really excited. It's like being a celebrity waiting for an ambush interview to be published. I don't wanna be so coy or snotty about this, but yeah... I hope it's good publicity.
And I'm now praying for miracles and opportunities around the corner. Wish me luck!
*sorry I can't put my real name
8.13.2009
im feeling lonely
I just logged off Facebook after checking out many of my friends' profiles. Majority of them are in a relationships and some scored great (or so the picture depicts) husbands or wives. Since I've recently broke up with my boyfriend, it got me thinking about my future.
My ex seemed to be my answered prayer until our relationship began to fold up. He didn't see the point of establishing a good relationship with my family and could be short-tempered at times; although he cools off as fast as he blew the roof off. Ex could afford and cope up with my lifestyle. He knows that I don't really like eating at fastfood restaurants so he'd always take me to the fine dining ones... which I greatly appreciated. There was even one time he peeled the skin off the grapes for me since he knew how I disliked its taste. Sweet huh? =)
Now, I don't see myself reconciling with him. The closest I could be is his bestfriend. We've started that relationship and it's amazing how much we both respect it. I just worry about how our future spouses would react and accept our friendship.... Anyways... that's tooooo far in the future to think about.
My parents have been very supportive of all my career and life decisions. They put me in good educational institutions and gave me a really comfortable life. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful family. But I'm getting worried about what's going to happen in the next couple of years. How sure am I that my future husband has the potential to become as successful as my parents? How sure am I that he'll be able to support and cope with my lifestyle?
I guess this is something bugging many women my age.
I wish and pray hard that my future husband would be the perfect one for me. He may have several attributes that aren't too pleasing, but the most important thing is that he'll love me for who I am and support my dreams and goals. Of course I'd reciprocate, I'm not selfish. I don't mean to sound materialistic or 'gold-digger'-ish, but I'd like him to have a home near a body of water (but not a swimming pool) fit to have four children, a sexy coupe, and a reliable savings account. LOL. On a serious note, he must have a really good relationship with his parents, especially his mom, and a stable job in a longstanding company.
OMG...
I just re-read what I typed and it seemed like some sort of ad on craigslist or some online dating website. Well, I'm not that desperate!! It was just fit for today's topic. I told mom about this before and she smiled and said:
Okay....... So, I'm not a woman of genius IQ matched with beauty queen vital statistics, but I do know that I am pleasing to the eye. Ha! (Mashallah) LOL. I have a red sedan in the Philippines and a white SUV here... I may not have property under my name yet.... Savings account, check!.... (Amount...? hmm, fluctuating. LOL) I love baba and mom.... and I'm working hard at work everyday.
Beach house, reliable savings account, and stable job...? These are what I need to become the ideal woman in order to find my ideal man. Inshallah by 2011 I'd have achieved all these.
Mom is right... I love her so much.
My ex seemed to be my answered prayer until our relationship began to fold up. He didn't see the point of establishing a good relationship with my family and could be short-tempered at times; although he cools off as fast as he blew the roof off. Ex could afford and cope up with my lifestyle. He knows that I don't really like eating at fastfood restaurants so he'd always take me to the fine dining ones... which I greatly appreciated. There was even one time he peeled the skin off the grapes for me since he knew how I disliked its taste. Sweet huh? =)
Now, I don't see myself reconciling with him. The closest I could be is his bestfriend. We've started that relationship and it's amazing how much we both respect it. I just worry about how our future spouses would react and accept our friendship.... Anyways... that's tooooo far in the future to think about.
My parents have been very supportive of all my career and life decisions. They put me in good educational institutions and gave me a really comfortable life. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful family. But I'm getting worried about what's going to happen in the next couple of years. How sure am I that my future husband has the potential to become as successful as my parents? How sure am I that he'll be able to support and cope with my lifestyle?
I guess this is something bugging many women my age.
I wish and pray hard that my future husband would be the perfect one for me. He may have several attributes that aren't too pleasing, but the most important thing is that he'll love me for who I am and support my dreams and goals. Of course I'd reciprocate, I'm not selfish. I don't mean to sound materialistic or 'gold-digger'-ish, but I'd like him to have a home near a body of water (but not a swimming pool) fit to have four children, a sexy coupe, and a reliable savings account. LOL. On a serious note, he must have a really good relationship with his parents, especially his mom, and a stable job in a longstanding company.
OMG...
I just re-read what I typed and it seemed like some sort of ad on craigslist or some online dating website. Well, I'm not that desperate!! It was just fit for today's topic. I told mom about this before and she smiled and said:
Habibti, it is great to define what you want in a man, because it is like defining yourself. Remember that in order to find your ideal man, you need to be the ideal woman first.
Okay....... So, I'm not a woman of genius IQ matched with beauty queen vital statistics, but I do know that I am pleasing to the eye. Ha! (Mashallah) LOL. I have a red sedan in the Philippines and a white SUV here... I may not have property under my name yet.... Savings account, check!.... (Amount...? hmm, fluctuating. LOL) I love baba and mom.... and I'm working hard at work everyday.
Beach house, reliable savings account, and stable job...? These are what I need to become the ideal woman in order to find my ideal man. Inshallah by 2011 I'd have achieved all these.
Mom is right... I love her so much.
8.09.2009
creepy phonecall
My phone rang at 2:30 am today and since then I've been in and out of sleep until it was time to get ready for work. The call didn't register a name but it had a number that was really familiar to me... it was the number of the guy who's been trying to get a hold of me for the past six years 'to meet up' you know what that means.
Okay in all fairness to the guy, he's not as bad as you think. He comes from a pretty good family, has better knowledge in English, got a university degree, and could pass for a head-turner. We met a looooong time ago in an arts class and since then he's been trying to get a hold of me. But because my protective parents and cultural stereotypes in the Kingdom, it didn't really happen.
Well it did happen, like two years ago, but it was just a brief dizzy-ing ride in his car. We just talked and caught up on each others' life.
What I don't really like about this guy was how he seemed to always want me in bed. Okay he's been allegedly waiting years and years for me, but that's no reason to ask me to sleep with him. It's scary because it's rare that I find men or guys to be approaching me in that sort of manner. I can't believe he thinks that all women are like what he sees on TV.
Grow up dude.
Yes, his attitude has been troubling me for many months now and was worse when my parents decided to uproot me out of California and the Philippines. Now, my paranoia of bumping into him or him stalking me is through the roof because it is strange to receive a phonecall in the middle of deep sleep.
I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that probably he got married and his wife was going through his phonebook. Say it was his wife who placed the call, how unusual it is for her to do such a thing knowing that it is too early for people to wake up, even for the Fajr prayer! All the more her husband would've found out about the investigation she's done once he starts getting call backs from her missed calls.
If he's not yet married, then it must've been some act of hope for a booty call. Knowing him, it's either that or he was close to passing after shots of vodka that he read Mom rather than my name.
Whatever the reason, getting a phonecall from someone who resurrected from the dead two years later is totally freaky! I recall how rare he'd send me a text--so calling me was like finding a needle in a haystack.
Well, where ever this may lead to, I just hope and pray that I never bump into him ever again. People like him shouldn't be given a cellphone to wake up other more heavenly souls. LOL.
As for me, I think it's god's reminder to learn how to turn off my cell at night. Many people I know do that but I get so worried about my alarm not going off or some emergency call coming in that I'd miss. My phone's off like only three hours a week. Had I switched it off last night, none of this paranoia or freaky-ness would've happened. But then again, hadn't this call came in, I would never have known that some eyes have began following me.
Oh............................. bummer.
Please pray for my safety. Thanks!
Okay in all fairness to the guy, he's not as bad as you think. He comes from a pretty good family, has better knowledge in English, got a university degree, and could pass for a head-turner. We met a looooong time ago in an arts class and since then he's been trying to get a hold of me. But because my protective parents and cultural stereotypes in the Kingdom, it didn't really happen.
Well it did happen, like two years ago, but it was just a brief dizzy-ing ride in his car. We just talked and caught up on each others' life.
What I don't really like about this guy was how he seemed to always want me in bed. Okay he's been allegedly waiting years and years for me, but that's no reason to ask me to sleep with him. It's scary because it's rare that I find men or guys to be approaching me in that sort of manner. I can't believe he thinks that all women are like what he sees on TV.
Grow up dude.
Yes, his attitude has been troubling me for many months now and was worse when my parents decided to uproot me out of California and the Philippines. Now, my paranoia of bumping into him or him stalking me is through the roof because it is strange to receive a phonecall in the middle of deep sleep.
I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that probably he got married and his wife was going through his phonebook. Say it was his wife who placed the call, how unusual it is for her to do such a thing knowing that it is too early for people to wake up, even for the Fajr prayer! All the more her husband would've found out about the investigation she's done once he starts getting call backs from her missed calls.
If he's not yet married, then it must've been some act of hope for a booty call. Knowing him, it's either that or he was close to passing after shots of vodka that he read Mom rather than my name.
Whatever the reason, getting a phonecall from someone who resurrected from the dead two years later is totally freaky! I recall how rare he'd send me a text--so calling me was like finding a needle in a haystack.
Well, where ever this may lead to, I just hope and pray that I never bump into him ever again. People like him shouldn't be given a cellphone to wake up other more heavenly souls. LOL.
As for me, I think it's god's reminder to learn how to turn off my cell at night. Many people I know do that but I get so worried about my alarm not going off or some emergency call coming in that I'd miss. My phone's off like only three hours a week. Had I switched it off last night, none of this paranoia or freaky-ness would've happened. But then again, hadn't this call came in, I would never have known that some eyes have began following me.
Oh............................. bummer.
Please pray for my safety. Thanks!
8.08.2009
shopping blues
Thursday afternoon mom and I checked out the sale at Mall of Dhahran. Oh my goodness, it was hugee!! Time allowed us only to visit Marks and Spencer since prayer time was just around the corner. We wanted to check out other stores but yeah... we needed to get back to camp.
While in the car, my mind was starting to hurt as I thought of the missed opportunities in getting a dress with a great bargain price. I looove the energy I get going through racks and racks of discounted merchandise, although I don't grab everything in sight. Believe it or not, there are times when I leave the mall with only 3-5 items I wanted after almost four hours of shopping.
That night I was convincing my mom to go back, but our trip to Bahrain Wednesday night really wiped her out. Friday wasn't much of an option either since we decided to stay in and cook up a great dinner for the family.
So today is the day I've been waiting for.
Mom and I have been talking about on our way to work and it scared me when she started to talk about the money I saved. Mom started saying that I shouldn't put it back in my account in California, rather I should just open an account here in Saudi Arabia or buy something as a souvenir.
A whhat??.... Souvenir??
I can't imagine buying something I don't really need just to tell people that I was able to get something out of my money. My parents just got me another laptop in April and a car a couple weeks ago. What else could I ask for?
Mom suggested that I get a new cellphone. She doesn't like how she's got a touchscreen and I've still got the wornout S700i. She feels bad when my phone suddenly dies during a phone call and how she's gotta wait around 15 minutes to be able to reach me again.
I do admit that my phone's all scratched and outdated, but I still don't get the point of owning a new one that would eventually get scratched and faded as well. My phone has a 2 mpg camera, a reliable memory, and a great sound system. It's almost five years old and yet it hasn't given up on me.
Baba agreed with mom that I should get a newer phone... one that's touchscreen at least. He was suggesting the iPhone and is willing to cover half the price. I told him.. no way! I never felt awe towards that phone. It seemed too much of a luxury. I told both of them that if I were to get a new touchscreen phone it would be the same one baba was. Both of them were thrilled when I said that but I immediately took it back as I told them that it is totally impractical to get such a great phone for my lifestyle.
I mean c'mon... Who would send me an important email that I had to read within seconds of it being sent?????????????
I feel that baba and mom feel a bit uneasy with the twist in lifestyle I've had since I got a job in 2008. I became more practical with money and proudly saved more than fifty percent of my paycheck each month. Mom didn't see the endless line of shopping bags at the doorway nor heard the pleas of checking out the item at the registers.
Now it's: Mom, I already have something like that... why would I need another one?
So now I'm feeling a bit uneasy about going shopping with her tonight. I know I need a couple of blouses to match the black pants I found at the bottom of my closet. It's just scary to think that she'll use the 'If you want it, use your money' line on me as she did a couple of months ago when we went shopping.
So I'm just hoping for the best and praying that I enjoy the time with her while I can. I love seeing mom shop and argue with her while she insists on getting me such an unconventional dress.
Her insisting is a way of telling me how much she loves me and how much fun she's having with me around. Oh I love you mom, you know I do.
(even if I still don't understand why I need another dress to throw onto a pile of fifty already)
LOL
While in the car, my mind was starting to hurt as I thought of the missed opportunities in getting a dress with a great bargain price. I looove the energy I get going through racks and racks of discounted merchandise, although I don't grab everything in sight. Believe it or not, there are times when I leave the mall with only 3-5 items I wanted after almost four hours of shopping.
That night I was convincing my mom to go back, but our trip to Bahrain Wednesday night really wiped her out. Friday wasn't much of an option either since we decided to stay in and cook up a great dinner for the family.
So today is the day I've been waiting for.
Mom and I have been talking about on our way to work and it scared me when she started to talk about the money I saved. Mom started saying that I shouldn't put it back in my account in California, rather I should just open an account here in Saudi Arabia or buy something as a souvenir.
A whhat??.... Souvenir??
I can't imagine buying something I don't really need just to tell people that I was able to get something out of my money. My parents just got me another laptop in April and a car a couple weeks ago. What else could I ask for?
Mom suggested that I get a new cellphone. She doesn't like how she's got a touchscreen and I've still got the wornout S700i. She feels bad when my phone suddenly dies during a phone call and how she's gotta wait around 15 minutes to be able to reach me again.
I do admit that my phone's all scratched and outdated, but I still don't get the point of owning a new one that would eventually get scratched and faded as well. My phone has a 2 mpg camera, a reliable memory, and a great sound system. It's almost five years old and yet it hasn't given up on me.
Baba agreed with mom that I should get a newer phone... one that's touchscreen at least. He was suggesting the iPhone and is willing to cover half the price. I told him.. no way! I never felt awe towards that phone. It seemed too much of a luxury. I told both of them that if I were to get a new touchscreen phone it would be the same one baba was. Both of them were thrilled when I said that but I immediately took it back as I told them that it is totally impractical to get such a great phone for my lifestyle.
I mean c'mon... Who would send me an important email that I had to read within seconds of it being sent?????????????
I feel that baba and mom feel a bit uneasy with the twist in lifestyle I've had since I got a job in 2008. I became more practical with money and proudly saved more than fifty percent of my paycheck each month. Mom didn't see the endless line of shopping bags at the doorway nor heard the pleas of checking out the item at the registers.
Now it's: Mom, I already have something like that... why would I need another one?
So now I'm feeling a bit uneasy about going shopping with her tonight. I know I need a couple of blouses to match the black pants I found at the bottom of my closet. It's just scary to think that she'll use the 'If you want it, use your money' line on me as she did a couple of months ago when we went shopping.
So I'm just hoping for the best and praying that I enjoy the time with her while I can. I love seeing mom shop and argue with her while she insists on getting me such an unconventional dress.
Her insisting is a way of telling me how much she loves me and how much fun she's having with me around. Oh I love you mom, you know I do.
(even if I still don't understand why I need another dress to throw onto a pile of fifty already)
LOL
8.03.2009
i love you........ goodbye
Due to the global economic crisis, many people have been trying to find a job outside their homeland in hopes that they could escape and find greener pastures in another country. Many leave their families behind and begin treading on unfamiliar territory.
I wanted to write about this because I recently, and I'm saying five minutes ago, met a lab technician who is on her second week in the Kingdom. Denise (not her real name) is in her late twenties and fresh out of her honeymoon when she left the Philippines. Yup, you read that right... she just got married two months ago. Her husband is currently running a business back home.
She tells me of how different and restricted this country is. Being exposed to lesser conservative countries as well, I could empathize with her. But, instead of feeding her dismay towards this country, I told her to think positive about her situation. I mean, she's working for a company hospital and living in an American-like community. Majority of her clients are bilingual and open-minded. And all commodities are cheap. =)
I understand that she's still under a lot of culture shock and I told her that if she's lonely and got time, she could always pass by my office for some short conversations. It's hard to be away from the ones you love especially being in Dhahran where everything seems better if you had someone to share the experience with.
My hopes go out to her husband, inshallah he remains faithful to his marital vows. I have heard of many stories about husbands going crazy once their wife leaves to work overseas. Not only Filipino men, but men in general. At the same time, Denise should also be careful because some men in this country are so darn charming that she could just get swept away unintentionally. Again, many sagas of love are told, good and bad... so Denise, listen up!
It's so heroic what these people do for the ones they love. Look beyond the sins they've committed and there you see a huge heart willing to sacrifice everything for the ones they love. Although my family didn't exactly go through that process, since baba is from here, mom had her dose and she says that it's never easy to leave mother land and trust destiny. So I kinda understand the dynamics of this family process.
I'm talking about overseas workers globally. So to everyone who left and did the same thing mom did years and years ago... I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to write about this because I recently, and I'm saying five minutes ago, met a lab technician who is on her second week in the Kingdom. Denise (not her real name) is in her late twenties and fresh out of her honeymoon when she left the Philippines. Yup, you read that right... she just got married two months ago. Her husband is currently running a business back home.
She tells me of how different and restricted this country is. Being exposed to lesser conservative countries as well, I could empathize with her. But, instead of feeding her dismay towards this country, I told her to think positive about her situation. I mean, she's working for a company hospital and living in an American-like community. Majority of her clients are bilingual and open-minded. And all commodities are cheap. =)
I understand that she's still under a lot of culture shock and I told her that if she's lonely and got time, she could always pass by my office for some short conversations. It's hard to be away from the ones you love especially being in Dhahran where everything seems better if you had someone to share the experience with.
My hopes go out to her husband, inshallah he remains faithful to his marital vows. I have heard of many stories about husbands going crazy once their wife leaves to work overseas. Not only Filipino men, but men in general. At the same time, Denise should also be careful because some men in this country are so darn charming that she could just get swept away unintentionally. Again, many sagas of love are told, good and bad... so Denise, listen up!
It's so heroic what these people do for the ones they love. Look beyond the sins they've committed and there you see a huge heart willing to sacrifice everything for the ones they love. Although my family didn't exactly go through that process, since baba is from here, mom had her dose and she says that it's never easy to leave mother land and trust destiny. So I kinda understand the dynamics of this family process.
I'm talking about overseas workers globally. So to everyone who left and did the same thing mom did years and years ago... I'm so proud of you.
8.01.2009
helloooooo august!
Oh my goodness, it's August already!
It may seem a little bit out of the ordinary, but I'd like to think that the extreme shammal we had over the weekend brought in a lot blessings in many people's lives, mine in particular. It reminds me of the hurricanes we get in the Philippines. Some people think it's such a hassle to go through the flood --in Saudi, breathe unbreatheable air-- and grumble about it the whole day. Before, I used to have that same attitude toward rough weather until someone told me:
And since then, my entire view towards stormy weather has changed. Now I go out and walk in the rain, dance in the rain, drive in the rain, play in the rain, and sing in the rain---the most fun thing to do! Getting only few centimeters of rain here in the sandbox, I suppose it's alright to treat a sandstorm the same way.
It rained on very important days of my life. Such as:
1. The day I took the Philippine Board Exams (June 11 and 12, 2007) passed
2. The day I took my NCLEX-RN in San Francisco (January 22, 2008) passed at 75 questions
3. My first date with my ex-boyfriend (January 29, 2008)
credit goes to him for being such a gentleman. our relationship ended coz of external factors btw
4. The day I landed in Bahrain (April 13, 2009)
coming home is truly a blessing
Although some people may think that these are just mere coincidences, it doesn't hurt to believe in a super power higher than us. I mean Thursday night, as the shammal was calming down, I have met one of the higher-ups of the hospital in camp at a social event. Baba was the one who approached him, who later introduced me to him, that landed me a participation in one of the biggest projects of the Nursing director!
Truly a stroke of good luck as I've been wishing to be more active in hospital activities while still young. Inshallah the group I'm going to work with will like me and I would like the job. So far, I just have to research. Painstaking but rewarding.
I just hope and pray that this shammal brought extra blessings for my love life. It's been a while since I felt loved by someone other than my family and close friends. And it's never easy to get over a break-up, although my ex and I are remaining in contact and have established a good friendship since. (Reconciliation?? Unlikely.)
So yes, please shammal bring home my Arabian Knight.
For those still believe that storms bring nothing but hardship and inconvenience, please remember that behind every storm is a silver lightning.
It may seem a little bit out of the ordinary, but I'd like to think that the extreme shammal we had over the weekend brought in a lot blessings in many people's lives, mine in particular. It reminds me of the hurricanes we get in the Philippines. Some people think it's such a hassle to go through the flood --in Saudi, breathe unbreatheable air-- and grumble about it the whole day. Before, I used to have that same attitude toward rough weather until someone told me:
"You know how priests shower church service attendees with holy water sometimes? Likewise, rain is God's way of blessing us from up above."
And since then, my entire view towards stormy weather has changed. Now I go out and walk in the rain, dance in the rain, drive in the rain, play in the rain, and sing in the rain---the most fun thing to do! Getting only few centimeters of rain here in the sandbox, I suppose it's alright to treat a sandstorm the same way.
It rained on very important days of my life. Such as:
1. The day I took the Philippine Board Exams (June 11 and 12, 2007) passed
2. The day I took my NCLEX-RN in San Francisco (January 22, 2008) passed at 75 questions
3. My first date with my ex-boyfriend (January 29, 2008)
credit goes to him for being such a gentleman. our relationship ended coz of external factors btw
4. The day I landed in Bahrain (April 13, 2009)
coming home is truly a blessing
Although some people may think that these are just mere coincidences, it doesn't hurt to believe in a super power higher than us. I mean Thursday night, as the shammal was calming down, I have met one of the higher-ups of the hospital in camp at a social event. Baba was the one who approached him, who later introduced me to him, that landed me a participation in one of the biggest projects of the Nursing director!
Truly a stroke of good luck as I've been wishing to be more active in hospital activities while still young. Inshallah the group I'm going to work with will like me and I would like the job. So far, I just have to research. Painstaking but rewarding.
I just hope and pray that this shammal brought extra blessings for my love life. It's been a while since I felt loved by someone other than my family and close friends. And it's never easy to get over a break-up, although my ex and I are remaining in contact and have established a good friendship since. (Reconciliation?? Unlikely.)
So yes, please shammal bring home my Arabian Knight.
For those still believe that storms bring nothing but hardship and inconvenience, please remember that behind every storm is a silver lightning.
Be Positive!!
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