Sometimes I would get into conversations with my colleagues in the Nursing field and talk about our career choices. Being the youngest amongst the group, I'd always end up being asked the most. I would tell the truth - passed all exams, modeled, working on getting my master's degree, etc. 8 out of 10 times they'd appear shocked; others would belittle me thinking that I just barely made the Nursing school cutoff. When they do find out what my BSN GPA was, they'd pause for a moment and wonder why I wasted (ouch!) a year modeling rather than starting up my career.
Here comes the complicated explanation...
After grad, my folks thought that I was too naive compared to the kids my age who have grown in other parts of the world. They are right at some point coz I gravely felt the drastic need for maturity during my stay in San Francisco. Since mom modeled at my age, she thought it was a great ground to be oriented to the real world, as they say Aramco life is like living in a fantasy world (no comment about that stereotype). And oh yeah, reality did knock me out good! It was like taking a crash course in life, with only five days til the make-or-break exam.
I stayed in the business for almost four months. Everything seemed so surreal, with every click of the SLR camera slowly taking away my Nursing knowledge. The business truly is addicting. It's like your thirst for popularity and advancement gets stronger as the days go by. I believe that my moral values were tested to the bones too, since one simple yes could skyrocket you to stardom but also possibly bring about undesired adverse effects to your future. Thankfully, I saved myself from falling into the trap. Baba saw the signs coming and immediately recalled me back to the Kingdom so I could remind myself my true reason for living.
Yes it was difficult to adjust back to what I was once knew was the normal life. I couldn't get anywhere past the main gate without baba or the driver taking me and I couldn't casually hang out with a man friend convincing all on-lookers that we are just friends. LOL
I had to pick up my life from how it was prior to modeling. Believe me, its been six months and I am still struggling until today. God has been so gracious that He's blessed me a job and very supportive colleagues. My mind's still recovering from the amnesia brought by the flashing bulbs. Sometimes, I'd think I have caught the age bug since my brain doesn't seem to welcome textbook info anymore.
My colleagues -rather, mentors- would tell me how much more beneficial it would've been had I entered the Nursing field immediately after my exam. Right now, I wouldn't be this struggling amnesic RN trying to figure out what career path to take. Some say that my chances in North America and Europe would've been taken advantage properly of since all my requirements were set -except for the experience though. My ladder to success would've had lesser steps on it had I planned more wisely. Errr...
My folks tell me that I did mess up at some point last year (yes I admit to that), but they are thankful that I did it earlier on. Sometimes, being here in the sandbox makes me think I am currently messing up my life since I'm missing out on what normal people my age would be doing.
But, what IS normal?
It's such a personal criteria that I may be being normal for some and a waste for others. Whatever! I'm here and this is me. Maybe I'd read this post same time next year and laugh my head off on how confused I seemed at this time... Who knows??
I'm not shy to admit that I'd like -LOVE- to be like the big wigs of the hospital I work for. They don't know how inspired they make me each I get to sit down and talk to them.
Patience and determination is the key, but time is also of essence. I don't know why I was accepted to do the modeling job (there are farrrr more prettier girls than me) nor why I ended up back here (no not because my baba is Saudi, I believe it was choice to step foot on that plane in the first place).
Destiny doesn't only work for love, it also works for life... And now I think it's currently working its magic pretty darn good.
10.26.2009
10.24.2009
back!!!
OMG, it's been like... what? Two months since my last post? Yeah I got kinda lazy to log on my blogger account to type something up. Instead, I've been reading others' blogs and I'm amazed by how they could write about anything any time! Talk about talent :)
Well, the weather has changed in the sandbox, which makes me happy each time I step out of the house. I loved how the Aramco weather tower flashed 79F the other night, four more degrees down and it's the temperature I've always loved since my SF days. Too bad the cafe on Kings Road got this dating reputation, I can't sit al fresco enjoying my coffee without some weird man thinking I'm awaiting some hook-up. Arrrgh.
I think homesickness is slowly withering away my system now. My folks sat me down and talked about how they felt each time I complained about not having a normal life here in the Kingdom, despite the fact of living in Aramco. I always felt they didn't understand me, but it was truly the other way around---I didn't understand them. My selfishness blinded me from seeing how happy they were having me around after seven years of being away. Mom said that life isn't about counting friends, but having those you can count on. I guess it's easier to figure that out in this part of the world, where you can classify people's lifestyles in well-defined categories--seriously!!
On the other hand, baba had a one-on-one with me about how weirded out he felt whenever I'd worry so much about not having a man liking me. I start whining and he stops me right there. Baba said that I was beautiful and smart enough -mashallah- to attract a man from any part of the world, I just need to have that breeze of confidence around me. Baba that is never gonna happen! My clock is ticking and I only got like four years left before my wedding bells start ringing. For those who don't know, it took me six years to move on from one relationship to the next. With that in mind, baba commented that my first relationship was like puppy love and the gap was coz of university... etc.
The topic went on until the both of us decided to head out and grab something from Casper and Gambini's. Thank God the Blackberry was tame all night. The circumstances are a lot different now than it had been before. My experiences are sufficient enough to know who and what is right for me. I only worry about getting ready on time for work and completing my master's degree, I'd like to believe that the more financially stable and equally mature men are just at my fingertips. BUT, the worldly vices is the killer. Baba said that regardless of how many vices there are in the world, if God has provided this man for you, he will be protected from them all. Oh inshallah baba, inshallah! Baba wracked my head in the car to get all the worry out and I laughed hard as he did it.
Baba's wisdom: "The right man will come looking for you, don't hide under your worry."
Yeah, I enjoyed being with him coz of the insight I get. See, baba isn't the traditional type of man, he doesn't impose instead he lets you learn the lessons hard. Although I can tell he's sort of supervising my adventures, he'll allow me to test the waters but pull me up just as I'm about to drown. And by 'just as' I literally mean just as! Mom assured me that they won't setup my life as how my friends' families have done to their daughters. I'm free to choose---wisely! LOL
So cheers to my ex-boyfriend who I'm already 110% sure I won't go back to, and to my crush who hasn't dropped a hint on me this month. Yalla habibi, you two have lost your chance coz I'm now putting everything in God's and Allah's hands!
:)
Well, the weather has changed in the sandbox, which makes me happy each time I step out of the house. I loved how the Aramco weather tower flashed 79F the other night, four more degrees down and it's the temperature I've always loved since my SF days. Too bad the cafe on Kings Road got this dating reputation, I can't sit al fresco enjoying my coffee without some weird man thinking I'm awaiting some hook-up. Arrrgh.
I think homesickness is slowly withering away my system now. My folks sat me down and talked about how they felt each time I complained about not having a normal life here in the Kingdom, despite the fact of living in Aramco. I always felt they didn't understand me, but it was truly the other way around---I didn't understand them. My selfishness blinded me from seeing how happy they were having me around after seven years of being away. Mom said that life isn't about counting friends, but having those you can count on. I guess it's easier to figure that out in this part of the world, where you can classify people's lifestyles in well-defined categories--seriously!!
On the other hand, baba had a one-on-one with me about how weirded out he felt whenever I'd worry so much about not having a man liking me. I start whining and he stops me right there. Baba said that I was beautiful and smart enough -mashallah- to attract a man from any part of the world, I just need to have that breeze of confidence around me. Baba that is never gonna happen! My clock is ticking and I only got like four years left before my wedding bells start ringing. For those who don't know, it took me six years to move on from one relationship to the next. With that in mind, baba commented that my first relationship was like puppy love and the gap was coz of university... etc.
The topic went on until the both of us decided to head out and grab something from Casper and Gambini's. Thank God the Blackberry was tame all night. The circumstances are a lot different now than it had been before. My experiences are sufficient enough to know who and what is right for me. I only worry about getting ready on time for work and completing my master's degree, I'd like to believe that the more financially stable and equally mature men are just at my fingertips. BUT, the worldly vices is the killer. Baba said that regardless of how many vices there are in the world, if God has provided this man for you, he will be protected from them all. Oh inshallah baba, inshallah! Baba wracked my head in the car to get all the worry out and I laughed hard as he did it.
Baba's wisdom: "The right man will come looking for you, don't hide under your worry."
Yeah, I enjoyed being with him coz of the insight I get. See, baba isn't the traditional type of man, he doesn't impose instead he lets you learn the lessons hard. Although I can tell he's sort of supervising my adventures, he'll allow me to test the waters but pull me up just as I'm about to drown. And by 'just as' I literally mean just as! Mom assured me that they won't setup my life as how my friends' families have done to their daughters. I'm free to choose---wisely! LOL
So cheers to my ex-boyfriend who I'm already 110% sure I won't go back to, and to my crush who hasn't dropped a hint on me this month. Yalla habibi, you two have lost your chance coz I'm now putting everything in God's and Allah's hands!
:)
9.09.2009
luckiest day of the year ^^
Today happens to be baba's birthday and the wedding day of hundreds, or probably even thousands, of couples in the world. According to the Yahoo homepage, there's a lot of other frenzy going on to celebrate September 9, 2009.
So... what's up?
Well as of the moment, plans are up in the clouds. Last week I felt like I had everything set up already. The venue, cake, and even Chinese delicacies were all chosen and set up, but today it seems like it's all gone to waste. Just as expected, mom threw a h-u-g-e menopausal fit today that may carry on til the afternoon. BUMMER~!
In the car on the way to work, she said: Honey, only you and your dad will celebrate his birthday.. I'm not coming!!!
Huh??? What the........?????????????
It's insaaaaane. I swear, I was walking towards the hospital and my mind just couldn't get anything straight. What am I going to do now? Mom isn't coming therefore her other friends may not come... how about baba's friends? I can't just sit there with a 50+ age group. I need mom to entertain me.
Arabian Knight might be coming... not sure. He was asking me about the time we'd have dinner and I don't know what to say, because baba never had dinner without mom.
Omggggg... what a huge headache, walahi!
So... what's up?
Well as of the moment, plans are up in the clouds. Last week I felt like I had everything set up already. The venue, cake, and even Chinese delicacies were all chosen and set up, but today it seems like it's all gone to waste. Just as expected, mom threw a h-u-g-e menopausal fit today that may carry on til the afternoon. BUMMER~!
In the car on the way to work, she said: Honey, only you and your dad will celebrate his birthday.. I'm not coming!!!
Huh??? What the........?????????????
It's insaaaaane. I swear, I was walking towards the hospital and my mind just couldn't get anything straight. What am I going to do now? Mom isn't coming therefore her other friends may not come... how about baba's friends? I can't just sit there with a 50+ age group. I need mom to entertain me.
Arabian Knight might be coming... not sure. He was asking me about the time we'd have dinner and I don't know what to say, because baba never had dinner without mom.
Omggggg... what a huge headache, walahi!
9.05.2009
evolution of facebook
A couple of minutes ago I received an email on Facebook telling me that I've been tagged in a note my friend wrote. I was excited coz I know this girl writes such amazing stuff and I wondered what she has decided to rant about again.
To my surprise, it was a copy-then-paste quiz about the 'Fancheck' application. The note instructs you to click the link, run the application, and viola! get a list of all your friends who've checked out your profile. Since its advent on the caveman Friendster network, I've left it thinking that it no longer became an online networking service, rather it started becoming a popularity race.
Ex: Omgggg! 55 people have viewed my profile this month... and 30 are drop dead gorgeous!
Get a life. Seriously.
This application completely makes no sense to me. I don't understand why some people actually give in to this crap, because in the first place, you've accepted Mr. X as your friend, therefore you indirectly gave him permission to do anything and everything on your profile. And it is his right to do so btw.
Which brings the topic of responsible Facebook-ing to the table. If you've decided to add this application to your profile, I'm sure that names of people you don't really wanna update your life with will pop up on the list. If you've posted pictures of every single move you've made since the creation of digital SLRs and updated us about everything from the hamburger you've ate for dinner to the perks of sitting on First Class............ Sister, I think you've slipped yourself off the cliff.
On the other hand, some people like this application because they could use it as a way to drop a line on the profile of the person who has visited them. Something like: Aww... thanks for dropping by... How are ya? But, with the way the quiz was written and how some my friends have started taking screen shots of what came out of the application... I don't think that spirit is there.
It's interesting to know why people allow these applications to mess up their online networking freedom. I add friends on Facebook because they mean a lot to me and yes, I do want to be updated once in a while coz I care for them. If the feeling is mutual, I don't understand the need for having a Fancheck profile to destroy lives of people who care and not stalk!
Did the makers ever realize that that their application destroyed the true meaning of networking?
To my surprise, it was a copy-then-paste quiz about the 'Fancheck' application. The note instructs you to click the link, run the application, and viola! get a list of all your friends who've checked out your profile. Since its advent on the caveman Friendster network, I've left it thinking that it no longer became an online networking service, rather it started becoming a popularity race.
Ex: Omgggg! 55 people have viewed my profile this month... and 30 are drop dead gorgeous!
Get a life. Seriously.
This application completely makes no sense to me. I don't understand why some people actually give in to this crap, because in the first place, you've accepted Mr. X as your friend, therefore you indirectly gave him permission to do anything and everything on your profile. And it is his right to do so btw.
Which brings the topic of responsible Facebook-ing to the table. If you've decided to add this application to your profile, I'm sure that names of people you don't really wanna update your life with will pop up on the list. If you've posted pictures of every single move you've made since the creation of digital SLRs and updated us about everything from the hamburger you've ate for dinner to the perks of sitting on First Class............ Sister, I think you've slipped yourself off the cliff.
On the other hand, some people like this application because they could use it as a way to drop a line on the profile of the person who has visited them. Something like: Aww... thanks for dropping by... How are ya? But, with the way the quiz was written and how some my friends have started taking screen shots of what came out of the application... I don't think that spirit is there.
It's interesting to know why people allow these applications to mess up their online networking freedom. I add friends on Facebook because they mean a lot to me and yes, I do want to be updated once in a while coz I care for them. If the feeling is mutual, I don't understand the need for having a Fancheck profile to destroy lives of people who care and not stalk!
Did the makers ever realize that that their application destroyed the true meaning of networking?
8.31.2009
horoscopes... horrorscopes!
This week I came down with a sore throat and contact dermatitis on my left arm. Trust me, it's not a fun combination. For one, I really needed to hide my rashes so that my patients wouldn't get frightened at the sight of it, and second I had to stifle my cough while inside hospital premises to keep people within a twelve inch radius around me. I didn't want to wear the face mask because I knew that would make people freak out even more. LOL. Don't worry, I've already sought treatment and got a day and a half off from work. Went home early Saturday, stayed in bed Sunday... and now here shiny and polished blogging during duty hours.
I had a lot of time last night so I checked out horoscope websites and read about August's forecast. Yes, I do believe in those, along with psychic readings and fortune tellers. It's exciting to sit and listen to them telling you what the future brings. I just don't go hardcore and pattern my destiny with what they tell me. The future is unknown, although these psychics say stuff, it's not real until it is real. I still believe in destiny and choice -- choice to make or break it.
Like I recall how my ex and I went to this renowned fortune teller in the Philippines last year. He said many great things about us and gave out this sparkly future of our relationship. Something about us supporting each other to make our dreams come true and blah blah blah. He also mentioned about how we needed our parents approval first. I give this psychic credit for revealing accurate information about our relationship that we have never told anyone. He also gave us such a great overview of our destiny which didn't come to a realization since it was my ex and I chose to break up (something Mr. Psychic never mentioned would happen).
Get my point?
Here's my August forecast link: http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/pisces_full.php
At the end of the month, I like to look back and see if any of what's written did come true. I didn't want to read the whole page again, so I just scrolled down to the Pisces Dates to Note.
August 5: Hmmm... I don't recall any secrets.
August 13: New house? Nada. Yes, we had dinner with a family friend.
August 18: Oh yeah, baba's secretary. Uggghhhh... loooooong story. And yes, our house is still standing... no electrical problems to make it burn down. Thank God!
August 21: Not applicable. LOL
August 22: Yes, I think romance did sparkle. ;)
August 26: Probably work??
Gee, it also mentioned about refreshing your appearance. True. My hair is in dire need of a new hairstyle and haircolor touch-up, but I still don't know which sane beauty salon to go to. I'm very picky when it comes to hair and skin care, that when I was in the Philippines, only my Japanese or Malaysian hairstylist could touch my hair... and they were living two cities away from me! Yes, I am willing to go through all that trouble in the name of vanity. Slap me now.
And yesterday was a most romantic day for me. Oh Lord, I in bed alone at home with two maids and a driver. Truly romantic.
I wouldn't say that this was a horrorscope but it is quite accurate once you read her lengthy monthly forecast. This woman is one of the more reliable psychics I have found on the internet. If any of you, my dear readers, know a better site, please leave it at the comments section.
Life is what we make of it. I have some friends who are so hardcore on these stuff that they can't even make a decision without reading what the planets, stars, and sun have to say. Oh boy, imagine how much fun our conversations are. Mars being on retrograde? LOL!! You've got to be kidding me. But my love still goes out to them. Seriously.
I had a lot of time last night so I checked out horoscope websites and read about August's forecast. Yes, I do believe in those, along with psychic readings and fortune tellers. It's exciting to sit and listen to them telling you what the future brings. I just don't go hardcore and pattern my destiny with what they tell me. The future is unknown, although these psychics say stuff, it's not real until it is real. I still believe in destiny and choice -- choice to make or break it.
Like I recall how my ex and I went to this renowned fortune teller in the Philippines last year. He said many great things about us and gave out this sparkly future of our relationship. Something about us supporting each other to make our dreams come true and blah blah blah. He also mentioned about how we needed our parents approval first. I give this psychic credit for revealing accurate information about our relationship that we have never told anyone. He also gave us such a great overview of our destiny which didn't come to a realization since it was my ex and I chose to break up (something Mr. Psychic never mentioned would happen).
Get my point?
Here's my August forecast link: http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/pisces_full.php
At the end of the month, I like to look back and see if any of what's written did come true. I didn't want to read the whole page again, so I just scrolled down to the Pisces Dates to Note.
August 5: Hmmm... I don't recall any secrets.
August 13: New house? Nada. Yes, we had dinner with a family friend.
August 18: Oh yeah, baba's secretary. Uggghhhh... loooooong story. And yes, our house is still standing... no electrical problems to make it burn down. Thank God!
August 21: Not applicable. LOL
August 22: Yes, I think romance did sparkle. ;)
August 26: Probably work??
Gee, it also mentioned about refreshing your appearance. True. My hair is in dire need of a new hairstyle and haircolor touch-up, but I still don't know which sane beauty salon to go to. I'm very picky when it comes to hair and skin care, that when I was in the Philippines, only my Japanese or Malaysian hairstylist could touch my hair... and they were living two cities away from me! Yes, I am willing to go through all that trouble in the name of vanity. Slap me now.
And yesterday was a most romantic day for me. Oh Lord, I in bed alone at home with two maids and a driver. Truly romantic.
I wouldn't say that this was a horrorscope but it is quite accurate once you read her lengthy monthly forecast. This woman is one of the more reliable psychics I have found on the internet. If any of you, my dear readers, know a better site, please leave it at the comments section.
Life is what we make of it. I have some friends who are so hardcore on these stuff that they can't even make a decision without reading what the planets, stars, and sun have to say. Oh boy, imagine how much fun our conversations are. Mars being on retrograde? LOL!! You've got to be kidding me. But my love still goes out to them. Seriously.
8.25.2009
the world seems to be on pause
Work's really a drag during the holy month of Ramadan. Like yesterday, I only had enough patients to count on one hand. The longest eight hours of my life... on the upside it's easy money and people are maintaining great health. Alhamduliallah (is my spelling correct?!)! On the downside, it's really a challenge to be stuck in front of a computer with company monitored internet access and co-workers you don't have much to talk about with after draining all juicy gossip on the first two days of this informal vacation. LOL.
Since Saturday, I've caught myself packed up and staring at the clock on the wall ready to bolt out at the strike of four. Incredible.
The good thing is that I don't go home feeling so wiped out. Speaking of which, I feel my world took a hundred eighty degree turn seeing baba greet me at the door when he'd usually stay at the office until mom calls for dinner. Thank God it's Ramadan. Baba's home by 1pm, gets to do more home-y stuff, and actually sits and talks to me about anythinggggg!
Which is what we did after I got home. We were talking about what to prepare for the iftar since baba fasts and we get guests coming in and out throughout the evening. Yes, I don't fast, well I did before but since I've become so confused on which religious path to take, baba has given up on me and just wished me well. It's a looooong story, trust me. In the Philippines I attended Roman Catholic services, in China I did the Buddhist and Taoist rituals, and when I was in the States and Europe I joined a lot of Christian Fellowship. Don't get me wrong, I do have Islam running inside my veins. In fact, I've been reading the Qu'ran and following certain practices. Now please, no negative reactions!!!
So baba decided to have some cake tonight. I volunteered to make some strawberry cheesecake but he didn't want to tire me out and instead asked me to pick something up at Anoosh. Oh, my fave cake shop! I just can't wait to get my foot at the door and be amazed by their creations. Although it is a trip downtown, it's soooo worth it. We also agreed on some hummus, fruit skewers, dates, clam chowder, prawns, steamed veggies, and um ali. Our family isn't a big fan of oily calorie packed food... as you can tell.
I took my computer with me so I could catch up on my reading during the trip, but instead I came across some really interesting blogs. I am a sucker on web browsing. Seriously, the only websites I'm always on are hotmail, yahoo, aol, facebook, and google... the rest are alien to me. Thankfully, I've cracked the code and expanded my world wide web. LOL.
What caught my attention most were the cartoon-like images people have been posting on their profiles. I see my Saudi friends have it on facebook and some bloggers too. At first I thought it was the wackiest thing to do... I mean, why put a cartoon-like image that looks exactly like you rather than put an actual picture??? What's the point in hiding your true identity if the resemblance is so close? I just don't get it.
The funny thing is I've been on the computer for the last three hours googling a site that could help me make this cartoon-like image! Can you believe it? The bug has bitten me too! LMAO. I found that yahoo offers the 'avatar' for use only around the site, so screw that. I also got in a Japanese on but it created weird images I just couldn't put my finger on. No luck yet.
So, if anybody knows how to make these cartoon-like images, please comment and leave websites or directions. I'm getting so jittery about this that I think I'll be losing sleep until I nail it. LOL.
My friends were also calling me to go out and exercise with them... by this they mean shopping. Yes, downtown is flooded with huge red signs screaming SALE! and people or rather women competing to bag the greatest bargain ever. Call me kill joy for declining such an invite, but I don't get the point of buying something I don't really need. I have already gone through the phase of impulsive shopping and I've firmly said goodbye. What's the point of getting a five SAR garment that is so inconvenient to my wardrobe? I've written about this previously and I don't want to start ranting about this topic again. Period. LOL.
Take me out for dinner at Amici's or coffee instead.
Okay so my mind's all over the place, so many topics in one post. So lemme just end it here now. Ohhh, the joys of having life on pause. Sweet.
Since Saturday, I've caught myself packed up and staring at the clock on the wall ready to bolt out at the strike of four. Incredible.
The good thing is that I don't go home feeling so wiped out. Speaking of which, I feel my world took a hundred eighty degree turn seeing baba greet me at the door when he'd usually stay at the office until mom calls for dinner. Thank God it's Ramadan. Baba's home by 1pm, gets to do more home-y stuff, and actually sits and talks to me about anythinggggg!
Which is what we did after I got home. We were talking about what to prepare for the iftar since baba fasts and we get guests coming in and out throughout the evening. Yes, I don't fast, well I did before but since I've become so confused on which religious path to take, baba has given up on me and just wished me well. It's a looooong story, trust me. In the Philippines I attended Roman Catholic services, in China I did the Buddhist and Taoist rituals, and when I was in the States and Europe I joined a lot of Christian Fellowship. Don't get me wrong, I do have Islam running inside my veins. In fact, I've been reading the Qu'ran and following certain practices. Now please, no negative reactions!!!
So baba decided to have some cake tonight. I volunteered to make some strawberry cheesecake but he didn't want to tire me out and instead asked me to pick something up at Anoosh. Oh, my fave cake shop! I just can't wait to get my foot at the door and be amazed by their creations. Although it is a trip downtown, it's soooo worth it. We also agreed on some hummus, fruit skewers, dates, clam chowder, prawns, steamed veggies, and um ali. Our family isn't a big fan of oily calorie packed food... as you can tell.
I took my computer with me so I could catch up on my reading during the trip, but instead I came across some really interesting blogs. I am a sucker on web browsing. Seriously, the only websites I'm always on are hotmail, yahoo, aol, facebook, and google... the rest are alien to me. Thankfully, I've cracked the code and expanded my world wide web. LOL.
What caught my attention most were the cartoon-like images people have been posting on their profiles. I see my Saudi friends have it on facebook and some bloggers too. At first I thought it was the wackiest thing to do... I mean, why put a cartoon-like image that looks exactly like you rather than put an actual picture??? What's the point in hiding your true identity if the resemblance is so close? I just don't get it.
The funny thing is I've been on the computer for the last three hours googling a site that could help me make this cartoon-like image! Can you believe it? The bug has bitten me too! LMAO. I found that yahoo offers the 'avatar' for use only around the site, so screw that. I also got in a Japanese on but it created weird images I just couldn't put my finger on. No luck yet.
So, if anybody knows how to make these cartoon-like images, please comment and leave websites or directions. I'm getting so jittery about this that I think I'll be losing sleep until I nail it. LOL.
My friends were also calling me to go out and exercise with them... by this they mean shopping. Yes, downtown is flooded with huge red signs screaming SALE! and people or rather women competing to bag the greatest bargain ever. Call me kill joy for declining such an invite, but I don't get the point of buying something I don't really need. I have already gone through the phase of impulsive shopping and I've firmly said goodbye. What's the point of getting a five SAR garment that is so inconvenient to my wardrobe? I've written about this previously and I don't want to start ranting about this topic again. Period. LOL.
Take me out for dinner at Amici's or coffee instead.
Okay so my mind's all over the place, so many topics in one post. So lemme just end it here now. Ohhh, the joys of having life on pause. Sweet.
8.23.2009
the art of letting go
This morning I was able to chat with my ex-boyfriend heart to heart. It wasn't easy at all since we've been having a lot of bitter arguments during the past two weeks, which all started with a simple miscommunication. He took what I was saying in a different way. So, with the help of the webcam, yes we've finally seen each other after two months, we were able to sort all issues out.
The love that we both share is not as strong as it is today. If before its strength surpassed the power of the deadliest weapon man has ever created, now its equivalent to one of a pebble. It has weakened.
I have long anticipated for this day, not because I don't want to love him anymore, but because I knew that this day will have to come, whether I like it or not. I used to fantasize the day when I'd see him again and we'd hug so tight that all bitter memories would be erased. BUT that didn't happen, and I am not sure it ever will. We have decided to part ways. Our eyes showed how sad the both of us have become. Despite my efforts to seem happy, my ex could see right through me. Although he knew it would hurt a lot, he told me that he's going to set me free.
He even asked me to make a promise to him that I would never settle for a man who wouldn't love and respect me as much as I deserve. He told me that I was a woman of a lot of worth, don't settle for any less. I cried all the tears my lacrimal ducts could possibly produce. I felt it came from his heart, all those words of letting go. To some it may seem like BS, but knowing him, I greatly appreciated every single syllable.
I, on the other hand, wished him only one thing: happiness. He is one of the best people I've known in this world and I don't why it's so difficult for him to go out and find another woman. It's too bad for me to say that he can't find someone better than me... Who am I to say that?? My ex treated me like a princess. He was very patient, generous, and loving to me.
Then the moment came. It was time to say "Goodbye, sweetheart" for the last time before letting go. I remember saying it with all the love I felt for him. My heart felt empty as I typed it to the screen. My tears were a continuous stream, somehow it felt like my body was letting go itself. Not only my heart was saying goodbye... my heart, body, and soul too.
He said his goodbye too. And just as I prayed to God for strength and guidance in helping me find another perfect man for me my phone beeped.
'Oh great' I thought as I groped for my phone. What a great way for someone to destroy such great drama. And when I phone reached my field of vision, I almost dropped it! A text message from Arabian Knight! As if it was like on cue... LOL.
My tears stopped suddenly and my chest gave a hearty laugh. I just couldn't believe it. Out of the blue, a text message from him... Just after I whispered a quick prayer to God and saying goodbye to my ex. OMG as in OH MY GOD seriously!
It took me a long time to process his text message and what to reply to him. The content was really funny though. He was just asking when the birthday of baba would be. My mind wasn't working so I just gave out a lame answer. I suggested that he ask baba--which I don't think he did. Anyway... yeah, it's on a really special day so I'm planning to surprise him. I just hope that mom doesn't pull one of her menopausal mood swings or else the party's off to the dumpster. I hope not, inshallah!
Back to topic!
I'm still quite sad about what happened with my ex and I. This afternoon was the first time I had the courage to re-read his emails and look at our pictures since our break up in April. It was the most difficult ordeal I had to go through but I had to do it. My heart shouldn't forget the feeling of love. I just hope and pray that someone like him or better will come along. Please God, provide.
Letting go takes love........
.....Yes, it took A LOT of love.
The love that we both share is not as strong as it is today. If before its strength surpassed the power of the deadliest weapon man has ever created, now its equivalent to one of a pebble. It has weakened.
I have long anticipated for this day, not because I don't want to love him anymore, but because I knew that this day will have to come, whether I like it or not. I used to fantasize the day when I'd see him again and we'd hug so tight that all bitter memories would be erased. BUT that didn't happen, and I am not sure it ever will. We have decided to part ways. Our eyes showed how sad the both of us have become. Despite my efforts to seem happy, my ex could see right through me. Although he knew it would hurt a lot, he told me that he's going to set me free.
He even asked me to make a promise to him that I would never settle for a man who wouldn't love and respect me as much as I deserve. He told me that I was a woman of a lot of worth, don't settle for any less. I cried all the tears my lacrimal ducts could possibly produce. I felt it came from his heart, all those words of letting go. To some it may seem like BS, but knowing him, I greatly appreciated every single syllable.
I, on the other hand, wished him only one thing: happiness. He is one of the best people I've known in this world and I don't why it's so difficult for him to go out and find another woman. It's too bad for me to say that he can't find someone better than me... Who am I to say that?? My ex treated me like a princess. He was very patient, generous, and loving to me.
Then the moment came. It was time to say "Goodbye, sweetheart" for the last time before letting go. I remember saying it with all the love I felt for him. My heart felt empty as I typed it to the screen. My tears were a continuous stream, somehow it felt like my body was letting go itself. Not only my heart was saying goodbye... my heart, body, and soul too.
He said his goodbye too. And just as I prayed to God for strength and guidance in helping me find another perfect man for me my phone beeped.
'Oh great' I thought as I groped for my phone. What a great way for someone to destroy such great drama. And when I phone reached my field of vision, I almost dropped it! A text message from Arabian Knight! As if it was like on cue... LOL.
My tears stopped suddenly and my chest gave a hearty laugh. I just couldn't believe it. Out of the blue, a text message from him... Just after I whispered a quick prayer to God and saying goodbye to my ex. OMG as in OH MY GOD seriously!
It took me a long time to process his text message and what to reply to him. The content was really funny though. He was just asking when the birthday of baba would be. My mind wasn't working so I just gave out a lame answer. I suggested that he ask baba--which I don't think he did. Anyway... yeah, it's on a really special day so I'm planning to surprise him. I just hope that mom doesn't pull one of her menopausal mood swings or else the party's off to the dumpster. I hope not, inshallah!
Back to topic!
I'm still quite sad about what happened with my ex and I. This afternoon was the first time I had the courage to re-read his emails and look at our pictures since our break up in April. It was the most difficult ordeal I had to go through but I had to do it. My heart shouldn't forget the feeling of love. I just hope and pray that someone like him or better will come along. Please God, provide.
Letting go takes love........
.....Yes, it took A LOT of love.
8.17.2009
oh.....me? seriously?
Last Wednesday, after what seemed to be the longest morning of my life, I attended an appreciation cocktail for my program here at the hospital. I was so clueless of what was going to happen that I didn't even to bother touching up my make-up or even combing my hair. All I knew was I skipped lunch so that I could get a free load-up of cocktails and an early pass home to Bahrain.
My friend and I was quietly chatting with each other when the recognition for the 'cream of the crop' was to be presented. The head of our program mentioned that there were two people who were going be awarded. That's when we paused for a bit then began placing our bets on who we thought would be called up. My friend rarely knew anyone so she chose the girl who was like the PA of the program head, I placed my bets on the girl who worked at the building across mine.
To our surprise, the first one called up was a guy. I have no clue where he was assigned or what his name was. When he was walking up to receive his award, my friend whispered that the next one would surely be a woman since a guy has already been called up. Okay, so our bets were still on.
Program head: "We also want to recognize warmsnowflakes* for her job well done.."
I sank deep in my seat. Did she just say my name? Is this for real? OMG!
My friend beamed this huge smile at me and told me to hurry up and get the award. I was still in a state of shock because I knew I just did my job not anything extraordinary. My mind was floating on so many questions yet I managed to walk up on stage and pose for the photo-op at the stage. My program head was so proud of me too; the hospital's top management was also present and I was shocked when the Director of Nursing personally congratulated me on my way back to sit. I never thought she'd remember how I looked like.
Majority of the participants in the program were women, I received a lot of stares while walking back. I even noticed how my bet stared at me as I walked back. My friend was so happy and congratulating me even as I sank back down in my seat. And then while everyone was being called up to receive certificates, my mind was spinning as I looked back the past couple of months to reflect on what special duty I've done.
Since I started working with the hospital, I've always always made sure I would walk the talk. If I told them I'm good at this, I am. If I'm not, please find someone else better. I believe that I did what every ordinary employee would do.
I catch myself staring at the certificate I received and I still can't believe why I was chosen. I can't stop thanking God for the blessing He has given me because I know that this honor will surely boost my chances of a brighter future. I just wish I was given a chance to talk after receiving the award, like the Oscars or Grammys, so I could share it with everyone else. Me being appreciated doesn't mean that everyone else just slacked.
If they had given me the opportunity to address the crowd, I'd tell them how humbling it feels to be representing a dignified crowd and how I'd like to share the recognition with everyone else. I remember how baba kept lecturing me on humility. He'd always say that regardless of how many recognitions or awards you've received, or maybe none at all, the most important thing that you should remember is:
You know you're good, and that's all there is to know.
I don't need to tell a thousand people about my recognition. Actually, I thought twice about writing this blog entry today... as you can tell, it's been five days since Wednesday. I wrote because I know that in a couple of days my face would right smack on glossy paper with the recognition cocktail's description around it for everyone to read! Honestly I'm feeling quite ambivalent because it's my first time to be published in this side of the world. I'm sure that many people will react and tell baba they have heard of his daughter's recent achievement, and inshallah all comments will be positive. I'm just a little nervous on how the picture would look like and what they'll be writing about me. I trust the columnist would write nice things about me and my quest for career advancement.
The attention it'll draw is unpredictable, but I'm really excited. It's like being a celebrity waiting for an ambush interview to be published. I don't wanna be so coy or snotty about this, but yeah... I hope it's good publicity.
And I'm now praying for miracles and opportunities around the corner. Wish me luck!
*sorry I can't put my real name
My friend and I was quietly chatting with each other when the recognition for the 'cream of the crop' was to be presented. The head of our program mentioned that there were two people who were going be awarded. That's when we paused for a bit then began placing our bets on who we thought would be called up. My friend rarely knew anyone so she chose the girl who was like the PA of the program head, I placed my bets on the girl who worked at the building across mine.
To our surprise, the first one called up was a guy. I have no clue where he was assigned or what his name was. When he was walking up to receive his award, my friend whispered that the next one would surely be a woman since a guy has already been called up. Okay, so our bets were still on.
Program head: "We also want to recognize warmsnowflakes* for her job well done.."
I sank deep in my seat. Did she just say my name? Is this for real? OMG!
My friend beamed this huge smile at me and told me to hurry up and get the award. I was still in a state of shock because I knew I just did my job not anything extraordinary. My mind was floating on so many questions yet I managed to walk up on stage and pose for the photo-op at the stage. My program head was so proud of me too; the hospital's top management was also present and I was shocked when the Director of Nursing personally congratulated me on my way back to sit. I never thought she'd remember how I looked like.
Majority of the participants in the program were women, I received a lot of stares while walking back. I even noticed how my bet stared at me as I walked back. My friend was so happy and congratulating me even as I sank back down in my seat. And then while everyone was being called up to receive certificates, my mind was spinning as I looked back the past couple of months to reflect on what special duty I've done.
Since I started working with the hospital, I've always always made sure I would walk the talk. If I told them I'm good at this, I am. If I'm not, please find someone else better. I believe that I did what every ordinary employee would do.
I catch myself staring at the certificate I received and I still can't believe why I was chosen. I can't stop thanking God for the blessing He has given me because I know that this honor will surely boost my chances of a brighter future. I just wish I was given a chance to talk after receiving the award, like the Oscars or Grammys, so I could share it with everyone else. Me being appreciated doesn't mean that everyone else just slacked.
If they had given me the opportunity to address the crowd, I'd tell them how humbling it feels to be representing a dignified crowd and how I'd like to share the recognition with everyone else. I remember how baba kept lecturing me on humility. He'd always say that regardless of how many recognitions or awards you've received, or maybe none at all, the most important thing that you should remember is:
You know you're good, and that's all there is to know.
I don't need to tell a thousand people about my recognition. Actually, I thought twice about writing this blog entry today... as you can tell, it's been five days since Wednesday. I wrote because I know that in a couple of days my face would right smack on glossy paper with the recognition cocktail's description around it for everyone to read! Honestly I'm feeling quite ambivalent because it's my first time to be published in this side of the world. I'm sure that many people will react and tell baba they have heard of his daughter's recent achievement, and inshallah all comments will be positive. I'm just a little nervous on how the picture would look like and what they'll be writing about me. I trust the columnist would write nice things about me and my quest for career advancement.
The attention it'll draw is unpredictable, but I'm really excited. It's like being a celebrity waiting for an ambush interview to be published. I don't wanna be so coy or snotty about this, but yeah... I hope it's good publicity.
And I'm now praying for miracles and opportunities around the corner. Wish me luck!
*sorry I can't put my real name
8.13.2009
im feeling lonely
I just logged off Facebook after checking out many of my friends' profiles. Majority of them are in a relationships and some scored great (or so the picture depicts) husbands or wives. Since I've recently broke up with my boyfriend, it got me thinking about my future.
My ex seemed to be my answered prayer until our relationship began to fold up. He didn't see the point of establishing a good relationship with my family and could be short-tempered at times; although he cools off as fast as he blew the roof off. Ex could afford and cope up with my lifestyle. He knows that I don't really like eating at fastfood restaurants so he'd always take me to the fine dining ones... which I greatly appreciated. There was even one time he peeled the skin off the grapes for me since he knew how I disliked its taste. Sweet huh? =)
Now, I don't see myself reconciling with him. The closest I could be is his bestfriend. We've started that relationship and it's amazing how much we both respect it. I just worry about how our future spouses would react and accept our friendship.... Anyways... that's tooooo far in the future to think about.
My parents have been very supportive of all my career and life decisions. They put me in good educational institutions and gave me a really comfortable life. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful family. But I'm getting worried about what's going to happen in the next couple of years. How sure am I that my future husband has the potential to become as successful as my parents? How sure am I that he'll be able to support and cope with my lifestyle?
I guess this is something bugging many women my age.
I wish and pray hard that my future husband would be the perfect one for me. He may have several attributes that aren't too pleasing, but the most important thing is that he'll love me for who I am and support my dreams and goals. Of course I'd reciprocate, I'm not selfish. I don't mean to sound materialistic or 'gold-digger'-ish, but I'd like him to have a home near a body of water (but not a swimming pool) fit to have four children, a sexy coupe, and a reliable savings account. LOL. On a serious note, he must have a really good relationship with his parents, especially his mom, and a stable job in a longstanding company.
OMG...
I just re-read what I typed and it seemed like some sort of ad on craigslist or some online dating website. Well, I'm not that desperate!! It was just fit for today's topic. I told mom about this before and she smiled and said:
Okay....... So, I'm not a woman of genius IQ matched with beauty queen vital statistics, but I do know that I am pleasing to the eye. Ha! (Mashallah) LOL. I have a red sedan in the Philippines and a white SUV here... I may not have property under my name yet.... Savings account, check!.... (Amount...? hmm, fluctuating. LOL) I love baba and mom.... and I'm working hard at work everyday.
Beach house, reliable savings account, and stable job...? These are what I need to become the ideal woman in order to find my ideal man. Inshallah by 2011 I'd have achieved all these.
Mom is right... I love her so much.
My ex seemed to be my answered prayer until our relationship began to fold up. He didn't see the point of establishing a good relationship with my family and could be short-tempered at times; although he cools off as fast as he blew the roof off. Ex could afford and cope up with my lifestyle. He knows that I don't really like eating at fastfood restaurants so he'd always take me to the fine dining ones... which I greatly appreciated. There was even one time he peeled the skin off the grapes for me since he knew how I disliked its taste. Sweet huh? =)
Now, I don't see myself reconciling with him. The closest I could be is his bestfriend. We've started that relationship and it's amazing how much we both respect it. I just worry about how our future spouses would react and accept our friendship.... Anyways... that's tooooo far in the future to think about.
My parents have been very supportive of all my career and life decisions. They put me in good educational institutions and gave me a really comfortable life. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful family. But I'm getting worried about what's going to happen in the next couple of years. How sure am I that my future husband has the potential to become as successful as my parents? How sure am I that he'll be able to support and cope with my lifestyle?
I guess this is something bugging many women my age.
I wish and pray hard that my future husband would be the perfect one for me. He may have several attributes that aren't too pleasing, but the most important thing is that he'll love me for who I am and support my dreams and goals. Of course I'd reciprocate, I'm not selfish. I don't mean to sound materialistic or 'gold-digger'-ish, but I'd like him to have a home near a body of water (but not a swimming pool) fit to have four children, a sexy coupe, and a reliable savings account. LOL. On a serious note, he must have a really good relationship with his parents, especially his mom, and a stable job in a longstanding company.
OMG...
I just re-read what I typed and it seemed like some sort of ad on craigslist or some online dating website. Well, I'm not that desperate!! It was just fit for today's topic. I told mom about this before and she smiled and said:
Habibti, it is great to define what you want in a man, because it is like defining yourself. Remember that in order to find your ideal man, you need to be the ideal woman first.
Okay....... So, I'm not a woman of genius IQ matched with beauty queen vital statistics, but I do know that I am pleasing to the eye. Ha! (Mashallah) LOL. I have a red sedan in the Philippines and a white SUV here... I may not have property under my name yet.... Savings account, check!.... (Amount...? hmm, fluctuating. LOL) I love baba and mom.... and I'm working hard at work everyday.
Beach house, reliable savings account, and stable job...? These are what I need to become the ideal woman in order to find my ideal man. Inshallah by 2011 I'd have achieved all these.
Mom is right... I love her so much.
8.09.2009
creepy phonecall
My phone rang at 2:30 am today and since then I've been in and out of sleep until it was time to get ready for work. The call didn't register a name but it had a number that was really familiar to me... it was the number of the guy who's been trying to get a hold of me for the past six years 'to meet up' you know what that means.
Okay in all fairness to the guy, he's not as bad as you think. He comes from a pretty good family, has better knowledge in English, got a university degree, and could pass for a head-turner. We met a looooong time ago in an arts class and since then he's been trying to get a hold of me. But because my protective parents and cultural stereotypes in the Kingdom, it didn't really happen.
Well it did happen, like two years ago, but it was just a brief dizzy-ing ride in his car. We just talked and caught up on each others' life.
What I don't really like about this guy was how he seemed to always want me in bed. Okay he's been allegedly waiting years and years for me, but that's no reason to ask me to sleep with him. It's scary because it's rare that I find men or guys to be approaching me in that sort of manner. I can't believe he thinks that all women are like what he sees on TV.
Grow up dude.
Yes, his attitude has been troubling me for many months now and was worse when my parents decided to uproot me out of California and the Philippines. Now, my paranoia of bumping into him or him stalking me is through the roof because it is strange to receive a phonecall in the middle of deep sleep.
I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that probably he got married and his wife was going through his phonebook. Say it was his wife who placed the call, how unusual it is for her to do such a thing knowing that it is too early for people to wake up, even for the Fajr prayer! All the more her husband would've found out about the investigation she's done once he starts getting call backs from her missed calls.
If he's not yet married, then it must've been some act of hope for a booty call. Knowing him, it's either that or he was close to passing after shots of vodka that he read Mom rather than my name.
Whatever the reason, getting a phonecall from someone who resurrected from the dead two years later is totally freaky! I recall how rare he'd send me a text--so calling me was like finding a needle in a haystack.
Well, where ever this may lead to, I just hope and pray that I never bump into him ever again. People like him shouldn't be given a cellphone to wake up other more heavenly souls. LOL.
As for me, I think it's god's reminder to learn how to turn off my cell at night. Many people I know do that but I get so worried about my alarm not going off or some emergency call coming in that I'd miss. My phone's off like only three hours a week. Had I switched it off last night, none of this paranoia or freaky-ness would've happened. But then again, hadn't this call came in, I would never have known that some eyes have began following me.
Oh............................. bummer.
Please pray for my safety. Thanks!
Okay in all fairness to the guy, he's not as bad as you think. He comes from a pretty good family, has better knowledge in English, got a university degree, and could pass for a head-turner. We met a looooong time ago in an arts class and since then he's been trying to get a hold of me. But because my protective parents and cultural stereotypes in the Kingdom, it didn't really happen.
Well it did happen, like two years ago, but it was just a brief dizzy-ing ride in his car. We just talked and caught up on each others' life.
What I don't really like about this guy was how he seemed to always want me in bed. Okay he's been allegedly waiting years and years for me, but that's no reason to ask me to sleep with him. It's scary because it's rare that I find men or guys to be approaching me in that sort of manner. I can't believe he thinks that all women are like what he sees on TV.
Grow up dude.
Yes, his attitude has been troubling me for many months now and was worse when my parents decided to uproot me out of California and the Philippines. Now, my paranoia of bumping into him or him stalking me is through the roof because it is strange to receive a phonecall in the middle of deep sleep.
I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that probably he got married and his wife was going through his phonebook. Say it was his wife who placed the call, how unusual it is for her to do such a thing knowing that it is too early for people to wake up, even for the Fajr prayer! All the more her husband would've found out about the investigation she's done once he starts getting call backs from her missed calls.
If he's not yet married, then it must've been some act of hope for a booty call. Knowing him, it's either that or he was close to passing after shots of vodka that he read Mom rather than my name.
Whatever the reason, getting a phonecall from someone who resurrected from the dead two years later is totally freaky! I recall how rare he'd send me a text--so calling me was like finding a needle in a haystack.
Well, where ever this may lead to, I just hope and pray that I never bump into him ever again. People like him shouldn't be given a cellphone to wake up other more heavenly souls. LOL.
As for me, I think it's god's reminder to learn how to turn off my cell at night. Many people I know do that but I get so worried about my alarm not going off or some emergency call coming in that I'd miss. My phone's off like only three hours a week. Had I switched it off last night, none of this paranoia or freaky-ness would've happened. But then again, hadn't this call came in, I would never have known that some eyes have began following me.
Oh............................. bummer.
Please pray for my safety. Thanks!
8.08.2009
shopping blues
Thursday afternoon mom and I checked out the sale at Mall of Dhahran. Oh my goodness, it was hugee!! Time allowed us only to visit Marks and Spencer since prayer time was just around the corner. We wanted to check out other stores but yeah... we needed to get back to camp.
While in the car, my mind was starting to hurt as I thought of the missed opportunities in getting a dress with a great bargain price. I looove the energy I get going through racks and racks of discounted merchandise, although I don't grab everything in sight. Believe it or not, there are times when I leave the mall with only 3-5 items I wanted after almost four hours of shopping.
That night I was convincing my mom to go back, but our trip to Bahrain Wednesday night really wiped her out. Friday wasn't much of an option either since we decided to stay in and cook up a great dinner for the family.
So today is the day I've been waiting for.
Mom and I have been talking about on our way to work and it scared me when she started to talk about the money I saved. Mom started saying that I shouldn't put it back in my account in California, rather I should just open an account here in Saudi Arabia or buy something as a souvenir.
A whhat??.... Souvenir??
I can't imagine buying something I don't really need just to tell people that I was able to get something out of my money. My parents just got me another laptop in April and a car a couple weeks ago. What else could I ask for?
Mom suggested that I get a new cellphone. She doesn't like how she's got a touchscreen and I've still got the wornout S700i. She feels bad when my phone suddenly dies during a phone call and how she's gotta wait around 15 minutes to be able to reach me again.
I do admit that my phone's all scratched and outdated, but I still don't get the point of owning a new one that would eventually get scratched and faded as well. My phone has a 2 mpg camera, a reliable memory, and a great sound system. It's almost five years old and yet it hasn't given up on me.
Baba agreed with mom that I should get a newer phone... one that's touchscreen at least. He was suggesting the iPhone and is willing to cover half the price. I told him.. no way! I never felt awe towards that phone. It seemed too much of a luxury. I told both of them that if I were to get a new touchscreen phone it would be the same one baba was. Both of them were thrilled when I said that but I immediately took it back as I told them that it is totally impractical to get such a great phone for my lifestyle.
I mean c'mon... Who would send me an important email that I had to read within seconds of it being sent?????????????
I feel that baba and mom feel a bit uneasy with the twist in lifestyle I've had since I got a job in 2008. I became more practical with money and proudly saved more than fifty percent of my paycheck each month. Mom didn't see the endless line of shopping bags at the doorway nor heard the pleas of checking out the item at the registers.
Now it's: Mom, I already have something like that... why would I need another one?
So now I'm feeling a bit uneasy about going shopping with her tonight. I know I need a couple of blouses to match the black pants I found at the bottom of my closet. It's just scary to think that she'll use the 'If you want it, use your money' line on me as she did a couple of months ago when we went shopping.
So I'm just hoping for the best and praying that I enjoy the time with her while I can. I love seeing mom shop and argue with her while she insists on getting me such an unconventional dress.
Her insisting is a way of telling me how much she loves me and how much fun she's having with me around. Oh I love you mom, you know I do.
(even if I still don't understand why I need another dress to throw onto a pile of fifty already)
LOL
While in the car, my mind was starting to hurt as I thought of the missed opportunities in getting a dress with a great bargain price. I looove the energy I get going through racks and racks of discounted merchandise, although I don't grab everything in sight. Believe it or not, there are times when I leave the mall with only 3-5 items I wanted after almost four hours of shopping.
That night I was convincing my mom to go back, but our trip to Bahrain Wednesday night really wiped her out. Friday wasn't much of an option either since we decided to stay in and cook up a great dinner for the family.
So today is the day I've been waiting for.
Mom and I have been talking about on our way to work and it scared me when she started to talk about the money I saved. Mom started saying that I shouldn't put it back in my account in California, rather I should just open an account here in Saudi Arabia or buy something as a souvenir.
A whhat??.... Souvenir??
I can't imagine buying something I don't really need just to tell people that I was able to get something out of my money. My parents just got me another laptop in April and a car a couple weeks ago. What else could I ask for?
Mom suggested that I get a new cellphone. She doesn't like how she's got a touchscreen and I've still got the wornout S700i. She feels bad when my phone suddenly dies during a phone call and how she's gotta wait around 15 minutes to be able to reach me again.
I do admit that my phone's all scratched and outdated, but I still don't get the point of owning a new one that would eventually get scratched and faded as well. My phone has a 2 mpg camera, a reliable memory, and a great sound system. It's almost five years old and yet it hasn't given up on me.
Baba agreed with mom that I should get a newer phone... one that's touchscreen at least. He was suggesting the iPhone and is willing to cover half the price. I told him.. no way! I never felt awe towards that phone. It seemed too much of a luxury. I told both of them that if I were to get a new touchscreen phone it would be the same one baba was. Both of them were thrilled when I said that but I immediately took it back as I told them that it is totally impractical to get such a great phone for my lifestyle.
I mean c'mon... Who would send me an important email that I had to read within seconds of it being sent?????????????
I feel that baba and mom feel a bit uneasy with the twist in lifestyle I've had since I got a job in 2008. I became more practical with money and proudly saved more than fifty percent of my paycheck each month. Mom didn't see the endless line of shopping bags at the doorway nor heard the pleas of checking out the item at the registers.
Now it's: Mom, I already have something like that... why would I need another one?
So now I'm feeling a bit uneasy about going shopping with her tonight. I know I need a couple of blouses to match the black pants I found at the bottom of my closet. It's just scary to think that she'll use the 'If you want it, use your money' line on me as she did a couple of months ago when we went shopping.
So I'm just hoping for the best and praying that I enjoy the time with her while I can. I love seeing mom shop and argue with her while she insists on getting me such an unconventional dress.
Her insisting is a way of telling me how much she loves me and how much fun she's having with me around. Oh I love you mom, you know I do.
(even if I still don't understand why I need another dress to throw onto a pile of fifty already)
LOL
8.03.2009
i love you........ goodbye
Due to the global economic crisis, many people have been trying to find a job outside their homeland in hopes that they could escape and find greener pastures in another country. Many leave their families behind and begin treading on unfamiliar territory.
I wanted to write about this because I recently, and I'm saying five minutes ago, met a lab technician who is on her second week in the Kingdom. Denise (not her real name) is in her late twenties and fresh out of her honeymoon when she left the Philippines. Yup, you read that right... she just got married two months ago. Her husband is currently running a business back home.
She tells me of how different and restricted this country is. Being exposed to lesser conservative countries as well, I could empathize with her. But, instead of feeding her dismay towards this country, I told her to think positive about her situation. I mean, she's working for a company hospital and living in an American-like community. Majority of her clients are bilingual and open-minded. And all commodities are cheap. =)
I understand that she's still under a lot of culture shock and I told her that if she's lonely and got time, she could always pass by my office for some short conversations. It's hard to be away from the ones you love especially being in Dhahran where everything seems better if you had someone to share the experience with.
My hopes go out to her husband, inshallah he remains faithful to his marital vows. I have heard of many stories about husbands going crazy once their wife leaves to work overseas. Not only Filipino men, but men in general. At the same time, Denise should also be careful because some men in this country are so darn charming that she could just get swept away unintentionally. Again, many sagas of love are told, good and bad... so Denise, listen up!
It's so heroic what these people do for the ones they love. Look beyond the sins they've committed and there you see a huge heart willing to sacrifice everything for the ones they love. Although my family didn't exactly go through that process, since baba is from here, mom had her dose and she says that it's never easy to leave mother land and trust destiny. So I kinda understand the dynamics of this family process.
I'm talking about overseas workers globally. So to everyone who left and did the same thing mom did years and years ago... I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to write about this because I recently, and I'm saying five minutes ago, met a lab technician who is on her second week in the Kingdom. Denise (not her real name) is in her late twenties and fresh out of her honeymoon when she left the Philippines. Yup, you read that right... she just got married two months ago. Her husband is currently running a business back home.
She tells me of how different and restricted this country is. Being exposed to lesser conservative countries as well, I could empathize with her. But, instead of feeding her dismay towards this country, I told her to think positive about her situation. I mean, she's working for a company hospital and living in an American-like community. Majority of her clients are bilingual and open-minded. And all commodities are cheap. =)
I understand that she's still under a lot of culture shock and I told her that if she's lonely and got time, she could always pass by my office for some short conversations. It's hard to be away from the ones you love especially being in Dhahran where everything seems better if you had someone to share the experience with.
My hopes go out to her husband, inshallah he remains faithful to his marital vows. I have heard of many stories about husbands going crazy once their wife leaves to work overseas. Not only Filipino men, but men in general. At the same time, Denise should also be careful because some men in this country are so darn charming that she could just get swept away unintentionally. Again, many sagas of love are told, good and bad... so Denise, listen up!
It's so heroic what these people do for the ones they love. Look beyond the sins they've committed and there you see a huge heart willing to sacrifice everything for the ones they love. Although my family didn't exactly go through that process, since baba is from here, mom had her dose and she says that it's never easy to leave mother land and trust destiny. So I kinda understand the dynamics of this family process.
I'm talking about overseas workers globally. So to everyone who left and did the same thing mom did years and years ago... I'm so proud of you.
8.01.2009
helloooooo august!
Oh my goodness, it's August already!
It may seem a little bit out of the ordinary, but I'd like to think that the extreme shammal we had over the weekend brought in a lot blessings in many people's lives, mine in particular. It reminds me of the hurricanes we get in the Philippines. Some people think it's such a hassle to go through the flood --in Saudi, breathe unbreatheable air-- and grumble about it the whole day. Before, I used to have that same attitude toward rough weather until someone told me:
And since then, my entire view towards stormy weather has changed. Now I go out and walk in the rain, dance in the rain, drive in the rain, play in the rain, and sing in the rain---the most fun thing to do! Getting only few centimeters of rain here in the sandbox, I suppose it's alright to treat a sandstorm the same way.
It rained on very important days of my life. Such as:
1. The day I took the Philippine Board Exams (June 11 and 12, 2007) passed
2. The day I took my NCLEX-RN in San Francisco (January 22, 2008) passed at 75 questions
3. My first date with my ex-boyfriend (January 29, 2008)
credit goes to him for being such a gentleman. our relationship ended coz of external factors btw
4. The day I landed in Bahrain (April 13, 2009)
coming home is truly a blessing
Although some people may think that these are just mere coincidences, it doesn't hurt to believe in a super power higher than us. I mean Thursday night, as the shammal was calming down, I have met one of the higher-ups of the hospital in camp at a social event. Baba was the one who approached him, who later introduced me to him, that landed me a participation in one of the biggest projects of the Nursing director!
Truly a stroke of good luck as I've been wishing to be more active in hospital activities while still young. Inshallah the group I'm going to work with will like me and I would like the job. So far, I just have to research. Painstaking but rewarding.
I just hope and pray that this shammal brought extra blessings for my love life. It's been a while since I felt loved by someone other than my family and close friends. And it's never easy to get over a break-up, although my ex and I are remaining in contact and have established a good friendship since. (Reconciliation?? Unlikely.)
So yes, please shammal bring home my Arabian Knight.
For those still believe that storms bring nothing but hardship and inconvenience, please remember that behind every storm is a silver lightning.
It may seem a little bit out of the ordinary, but I'd like to think that the extreme shammal we had over the weekend brought in a lot blessings in many people's lives, mine in particular. It reminds me of the hurricanes we get in the Philippines. Some people think it's such a hassle to go through the flood --in Saudi, breathe unbreatheable air-- and grumble about it the whole day. Before, I used to have that same attitude toward rough weather until someone told me:
"You know how priests shower church service attendees with holy water sometimes? Likewise, rain is God's way of blessing us from up above."
And since then, my entire view towards stormy weather has changed. Now I go out and walk in the rain, dance in the rain, drive in the rain, play in the rain, and sing in the rain---the most fun thing to do! Getting only few centimeters of rain here in the sandbox, I suppose it's alright to treat a sandstorm the same way.
It rained on very important days of my life. Such as:
1. The day I took the Philippine Board Exams (June 11 and 12, 2007) passed
2. The day I took my NCLEX-RN in San Francisco (January 22, 2008) passed at 75 questions
3. My first date with my ex-boyfriend (January 29, 2008)
credit goes to him for being such a gentleman. our relationship ended coz of external factors btw
4. The day I landed in Bahrain (April 13, 2009)
coming home is truly a blessing
Although some people may think that these are just mere coincidences, it doesn't hurt to believe in a super power higher than us. I mean Thursday night, as the shammal was calming down, I have met one of the higher-ups of the hospital in camp at a social event. Baba was the one who approached him, who later introduced me to him, that landed me a participation in one of the biggest projects of the Nursing director!
Truly a stroke of good luck as I've been wishing to be more active in hospital activities while still young. Inshallah the group I'm going to work with will like me and I would like the job. So far, I just have to research. Painstaking but rewarding.
I just hope and pray that this shammal brought extra blessings for my love life. It's been a while since I felt loved by someone other than my family and close friends. And it's never easy to get over a break-up, although my ex and I are remaining in contact and have established a good friendship since. (Reconciliation?? Unlikely.)
So yes, please shammal bring home my Arabian Knight.
For those still believe that storms bring nothing but hardship and inconvenience, please remember that behind every storm is a silver lightning.
Be Positive!!
7.28.2009
men and their immaturity
People always quote me when I answer this question: What type of guy interests you? This is because of my answer and my manner of answering. First I tilt my head to the right, raise an eyebrow, narrow my eyes then ask: Guy?? The usual reply I get is: Yes, guy... what do you want... girl??? If there were other girls around, expect giggles.
I answer: Guys don't interest me, men do.
And as if on cue, blank or puzzled faces stare back at me. It is then time for me to explain that I'm not looking for an old man, I'm just looking for someone mature. You can be mature at a young age or be immature even at an old age. It's interesting how some fifty year old men are still clueless about their future... literally happy-go-lucky.
The reason why I brought this up is because of my friend's recent experience (let's name him George). He's been working for a couple months now in this department and his superior gave him a box of chocolates for his birthday. Not a lot of people knew that today was George's special day, so he was really surprised when his superior came in with a gift. This made him happy... too happy,in fact, that he shared the gift with everyone in the building.
While he was telling me this through chat, I was laughing and at the same time wondering why he'd done such a thing...
Two days later I catch George online again and he told me about a recent incident in the lunch room. It was raining that day and many of his co-workers, including their superiors, opted for fastfood delivery. A couple of minutes after the food came, their manager (let's call him Keith)walked in the room. He greeted everyone and then mentioned of how generous my friend's immediate superior (let's name him Santiago) was to give George a birthday gift. George told me of how surprised Santiago seemed as their manager spoke. At first Keith was talking about how Santiago should be the example of other immediate superiors, as he truly takes care of his subordinates and makes sure they were happy all the time.
What took Santiago aback though was when Keith kidded about how everyone should now expect a gift from Santiago since he's so generous. At the same time, Santiago should also be given the responsibility of holding department celebrations and get-togethers since he has a special talent in making people happy.
This was the time when I asked George: That seems so weird... Hypocritical and immature.
George is around the same age as I am, and he told me that Santiago was in his late forties and Keith in his late thirties. I asked him if he sensed any tension or irony as Keith spoke about Santiago and he said: No... as a matter of fact, I even told everyone how yummy the chocolate was and they all agreed!
At that point I just wanted to reprimand George, because (even without knowing), I know that there is a little friction between Keith and Santiago. I mean, why would a manager tell his subordinate (who happens to be of position as well) to organize celebrations and get-togethers?? Shouldn't a secretary do that kinda stuff? I asked George how Santiago took this hypocritical comment and all he said was, "Uhmm, he seemed alright with it."
At that point, I just didn't know who to rant about first: George, Keith, or Santiago??????
George: For a guy in his early twenties, I am sure he's aged-out of the stage wherein he needs to show everyone the awesome birthday gift he received from a friend. I do understand that he probably wanted to share his blessings, but in a way.. he was being a bit too vulgar about it. He should've just offered it to people coming in his cubicle and not to everyone in the building. Didn't he realize that there wasn't a whole marching band with Santiago when he was handed the gift??? And worse, he didn't even sense the friction and hypocrisy when Keith was complimenting (???) Santiago for his generosity. He added to the damage when he said "yummy blah blah blah."
Keith: He is the manager of this bank branch and I don't understand his attitude at all. It's great how he set Santiago as the example of other superiors but stupid how he started joking around with him. It felt like he was embarrassing Santiago to the hilt! Was Keith insecure of what Santiago has done? (Quick FYI, George comes from a highly influential political family) Does Keith think that Santiago has done this to win George's favor? If so, how immature for him to tackle this issue in that manner!!! Hello, it's only a birthday gift. Plus, why did he need an entire crowd to witness his act of stripping Santiago's pride (or whatever's left of it)????? Is he insecure himself? No, that question's not even worthy of asking... Lemme re-phrase: He is insecure.
Santiago: I asked George how Santiago took all this crap from Keith and he said that Santiago was just quiet and half-smiling in his seat. He didn't speak a word of defense until the 'organizing celebrations and get-togethers' part. George told me that Santiago answered back to Keith that it's not his job to do that, it's the secretary's! Wow, finally... a defense from the underdog. I was actually holding my breath, scared George would reply 'nothing' on our chat conversation.
Honestly, I feel so sorry toward Santiago because it seems like he's being made fun of in a really nasty and rude way. Worse is that his boss, Keith, did it in front of many people. Had George just slid the box of chocolates in a drawer and waited until he got home to devour the contents, this wouldn't have happened. I told George that although he was innocent in this situation, he is the cause of this embarrassment and future ones Santiago may have. Being the George he is, it was only then that everything sank in his system and then started asking me of what to do to make this all up to Santiago.
I simply replied: Grow up.
I am no position to judge Keith at the moment since I have never met or interacted with him. But based on the story George told me, I can tell that Keith has a man's age but a guy's --or shall I say boy's-- level of maturity. He needs a lot of growing up to do. And if the cause of this friction between Keith and Santiago is petty...
.......I'm sure all my readers now understand why my single and most minimal requirement in finding a partner is: being a MAN.
I answer: Guys don't interest me, men do.
And as if on cue, blank or puzzled faces stare back at me. It is then time for me to explain that I'm not looking for an old man, I'm just looking for someone mature. You can be mature at a young age or be immature even at an old age. It's interesting how some fifty year old men are still clueless about their future... literally happy-go-lucky.
The reason why I brought this up is because of my friend's recent experience (let's name him George). He's been working for a couple months now in this department and his superior gave him a box of chocolates for his birthday. Not a lot of people knew that today was George's special day, so he was really surprised when his superior came in with a gift. This made him happy... too happy,in fact, that he shared the gift with everyone in the building.
While he was telling me this through chat, I was laughing and at the same time wondering why he'd done such a thing...
Two days later I catch George online again and he told me about a recent incident in the lunch room. It was raining that day and many of his co-workers, including their superiors, opted for fastfood delivery. A couple of minutes after the food came, their manager (let's call him Keith)walked in the room. He greeted everyone and then mentioned of how generous my friend's immediate superior (let's name him Santiago) was to give George a birthday gift. George told me of how surprised Santiago seemed as their manager spoke. At first Keith was talking about how Santiago should be the example of other immediate superiors, as he truly takes care of his subordinates and makes sure they were happy all the time.
What took Santiago aback though was when Keith kidded about how everyone should now expect a gift from Santiago since he's so generous. At the same time, Santiago should also be given the responsibility of holding department celebrations and get-togethers since he has a special talent in making people happy.
This was the time when I asked George: That seems so weird... Hypocritical and immature.
George is around the same age as I am, and he told me that Santiago was in his late forties and Keith in his late thirties. I asked him if he sensed any tension or irony as Keith spoke about Santiago and he said: No... as a matter of fact, I even told everyone how yummy the chocolate was and they all agreed!
At that point I just wanted to reprimand George, because (even without knowing), I know that there is a little friction between Keith and Santiago. I mean, why would a manager tell his subordinate (who happens to be of position as well) to organize celebrations and get-togethers?? Shouldn't a secretary do that kinda stuff? I asked George how Santiago took this hypocritical comment and all he said was, "Uhmm, he seemed alright with it."
At that point, I just didn't know who to rant about first: George, Keith, or Santiago??????
George: For a guy in his early twenties, I am sure he's aged-out of the stage wherein he needs to show everyone the awesome birthday gift he received from a friend. I do understand that he probably wanted to share his blessings, but in a way.. he was being a bit too vulgar about it. He should've just offered it to people coming in his cubicle and not to everyone in the building. Didn't he realize that there wasn't a whole marching band with Santiago when he was handed the gift??? And worse, he didn't even sense the friction and hypocrisy when Keith was complimenting (???) Santiago for his generosity. He added to the damage when he said "yummy blah blah blah."
Keith: He is the manager of this bank branch and I don't understand his attitude at all. It's great how he set Santiago as the example of other superiors but stupid how he started joking around with him. It felt like he was embarrassing Santiago to the hilt! Was Keith insecure of what Santiago has done? (Quick FYI, George comes from a highly influential political family) Does Keith think that Santiago has done this to win George's favor? If so, how immature for him to tackle this issue in that manner!!! Hello, it's only a birthday gift. Plus, why did he need an entire crowd to witness his act of stripping Santiago's pride (or whatever's left of it)????? Is he insecure himself? No, that question's not even worthy of asking... Lemme re-phrase: He is insecure.
Santiago: I asked George how Santiago took all this crap from Keith and he said that Santiago was just quiet and half-smiling in his seat. He didn't speak a word of defense until the 'organizing celebrations and get-togethers' part. George told me that Santiago answered back to Keith that it's not his job to do that, it's the secretary's! Wow, finally... a defense from the underdog. I was actually holding my breath, scared George would reply 'nothing' on our chat conversation.
Honestly, I feel so sorry toward Santiago because it seems like he's being made fun of in a really nasty and rude way. Worse is that his boss, Keith, did it in front of many people. Had George just slid the box of chocolates in a drawer and waited until he got home to devour the contents, this wouldn't have happened. I told George that although he was innocent in this situation, he is the cause of this embarrassment and future ones Santiago may have. Being the George he is, it was only then that everything sank in his system and then started asking me of what to do to make this all up to Santiago.
I simply replied: Grow up.
I am no position to judge Keith at the moment since I have never met or interacted with him. But based on the story George told me, I can tell that Keith has a man's age but a guy's --or shall I say boy's-- level of maturity. He needs a lot of growing up to do. And if the cause of this friction between Keith and Santiago is petty...
.......I'm sure all my readers now understand why my single and most minimal requirement in finding a partner is: being a MAN.
sale sale sale!!!
Usually around the months of June and December, malls in the Kingdom offer great discounts on well-known American and European brands. Mom and I always look forward to this sale event because they seriously drop prices... I'm talking 75% off the tag tax-free!
Last night we went down to the mall to check if the stores have marked-down their items. To our disappointment, they haven't. Yeah Massimo Dutti's got their section of sale items, but unlike before, they were taking only SR50 off the tag... so much for the so-called sale. So mama and I settled with what we got: two pairs of shoes from Aldo, one from Nine West, and three dresses from Zara (mine!!)... better bargains in those stores.
I'm starting to guess this is due to the global economic crisis. Lots of stores are closing down and even huge family corporations (groups?? I don't know what to call them) are struggling to hold on to their assets. Putting more insult to the injury, many people are also losing their jobs. So I guess even if these stores put huge signboards screaming SALE!!!!!, it doesn't mean anything if the pricetag doesn't show much difference.
Last night we went down to the mall to check if the stores have marked-down their items. To our disappointment, they haven't. Yeah Massimo Dutti's got their section of sale items, but unlike before, they were taking only SR50 off the tag... so much for the so-called sale. So mama and I settled with what we got: two pairs of shoes from Aldo, one from Nine West, and three dresses from Zara (mine!!)... better bargains in those stores.
I'm starting to guess this is due to the global economic crisis. Lots of stores are closing down and even huge family corporations (groups?? I don't know what to call them) are struggling to hold on to their assets. Putting more insult to the injury, many people are also losing their jobs. So I guess even if these stores put huge signboards screaming SALE!!!!!, it doesn't mean anything if the pricetag doesn't show much difference.
I sat down with baba after we got home and talked to him about this. He said that most retail stores aren't doing good these days and marking-down their merchandise would just knock them out. To attract buyers, they launched a 'buy 2 get 1 free' promo. Some buyers might think that it's for their advantage but actually it's for the store. Not only do they steer clear from a 50% markdown, they also get rid of end-of-season stock.
My advice to the shopaholics? Spend wisely, eat well and stay positive. Inshallah the global economy will recover this year.... and we could all go shopping like crazy again.
YAY! =)
7.27.2009
my progress in the sandbox
Before I left for Saudi Arabia, I had to make a big decision about a relationship. I got to a point wherein I had to choose between two equally advantageous and disadvantageous options in my life.
Option A: Follow my boyfriend's advice and leave for the States and in four months get married with him. Totally a great option for those who really want to achieve their American dream. He is currently working as an RN in San Francisco, studying for his MBA, and fattening up his 401K and savings accounts. The greatest advantage was that I knew and felt that he loved me more than I loved him, for I knew he'd take care of me and never break my heart. The catch was I'd be disowned by my family and probably never get to talk to them for the rest of my life.
Option B: Break-up with my boyfriend, trust in God, and let destiny take it's course. By this I mean, following my parents wishes of moving back to Saudi Arabia. There's too much uncertainty in this decision since I wasn't sure if I'd get employed and most importantly, do what I love doing most---enjoying my life to the hilt!
As obvious as it may seem, I chose option B. Most of my friends were shocked by my decision, primarily because they knew that my boyfriend (now ex) and I were so in love and that there aren't much opportunities for female expats in the Middle East. They thought I was high on drugs when I told them what my plans were.
Big question: WHY????
Choosing your parents seems to always be the easiest when caught in a dilemma like this. Some people even talk about how lovers are replaceable compared to parents who aren't. But I didn't follow this advice. I chose my folks because I never wanted my boyfriend to feel that I married him for the green card, and worse is that someday he'd take it against me, say we get into a heated argument. Plus, somewhere deep inside my heart I know that he'll never grow out of loving me even if our break-up was really painful.
Believe it or not, something inside me kept wanting to go back to the sandbox. It was such a strong feeling that I knew everything would be alright even if I was uncertain about my future. I recall how glad and relieved my baba sounded when I called him to ask for more details about my departure. Funny how he thought an 8J seat on an A330 would make me happy. I rolled my eyes when I got my e-ticket because baba hasn't changed at all. He still thinks that money can buy forgiveness and happiness. (Ex: Buying mom flowers and jewelry after picking petty fights with her.) I called him about it and all he said was: I know that leaving your friends there isn't easy, so I want to make you happy the first eight hours away from them. LOL.
I remember when I my plane landed in Bahrain. I was staring out the window thinking of what's going to happen next in my life. Like the cabin I was in, my mind was practically empty with ideas and.... goals, basically. I didn't expect a marching band to welcome me home either, since I knew most of my friends were OOK for good or married. As a matter of fact, a driver would be good enough since it was just before dawn when I arrived. To my surprise, my parents were at Costa Coffee awaiting the return of their princess. Mom hugged me so tight and kept saying how happy she was to have me back for good. Baba was just behind her with a rectangular box in his hands. He hugged me too and asked me to open the gift.
Me: OMG...A new small laptop (the 8-10 inch one)! ....in my favorite color! Thanks so much mama and baba!! (hugs and kisses them both)
Mama and baba: You're welcome habibti.
Baba: I knew it'd make you happy honey... It's got everything you need, from Vista to the accessories.
Me: Really? How exciting! (In my mind: There you go again baba... Old habits die hard.)
LOL!
My first couple of weeks seemed quite weird in the Kingdom because it wasn't like I was a returning student leaving soon, as I did for the past seven years of my life. Now I'm handing my CVs out left and right like a flyer advertising a new cafe, while hoping I'd be lucky enough to give to a big big wasta connected to a hospital. Ha ha!
Thankfully, I'm now employed and helping out various organizations with their activites that interest me. Although I still don't have much friends, I'm happy with the decision I made. And as for the matters of the heart, I'm still healing and hoping. My ex and I are communicating like best friends now and what's even better was when he told me he'd wait for destiny to bring us back together. See, my gut feeling was right! Both of us know that it's not the right time since distance will strain our relationship. As for admirers, I know they're around... in close parameters, but none are zero-ing in. Too bad for me. LMAO!
No worries, I will write when something comes up. But until then, I feel my mind's too stressed to veer into the issues of the heart. ;)
Option A: Follow my boyfriend's advice and leave for the States and in four months get married with him. Totally a great option for those who really want to achieve their American dream. He is currently working as an RN in San Francisco, studying for his MBA, and fattening up his 401K and savings accounts. The greatest advantage was that I knew and felt that he loved me more than I loved him, for I knew he'd take care of me and never break my heart. The catch was I'd be disowned by my family and probably never get to talk to them for the rest of my life.
Option B: Break-up with my boyfriend, trust in God, and let destiny take it's course. By this I mean, following my parents wishes of moving back to Saudi Arabia. There's too much uncertainty in this decision since I wasn't sure if I'd get employed and most importantly, do what I love doing most---enjoying my life to the hilt!
As obvious as it may seem, I chose option B. Most of my friends were shocked by my decision, primarily because they knew that my boyfriend (now ex) and I were so in love and that there aren't much opportunities for female expats in the Middle East. They thought I was high on drugs when I told them what my plans were.
Big question: WHY????
Choosing your parents seems to always be the easiest when caught in a dilemma like this. Some people even talk about how lovers are replaceable compared to parents who aren't. But I didn't follow this advice. I chose my folks because I never wanted my boyfriend to feel that I married him for the green card, and worse is that someday he'd take it against me, say we get into a heated argument. Plus, somewhere deep inside my heart I know that he'll never grow out of loving me even if our break-up was really painful.
Believe it or not, something inside me kept wanting to go back to the sandbox. It was such a strong feeling that I knew everything would be alright even if I was uncertain about my future. I recall how glad and relieved my baba sounded when I called him to ask for more details about my departure. Funny how he thought an 8J seat on an A330 would make me happy. I rolled my eyes when I got my e-ticket because baba hasn't changed at all. He still thinks that money can buy forgiveness and happiness. (Ex: Buying mom flowers and jewelry after picking petty fights with her.) I called him about it and all he said was: I know that leaving your friends there isn't easy, so I want to make you happy the first eight hours away from them. LOL.
I remember when I my plane landed in Bahrain. I was staring out the window thinking of what's going to happen next in my life. Like the cabin I was in, my mind was practically empty with ideas and.... goals, basically. I didn't expect a marching band to welcome me home either, since I knew most of my friends were OOK for good or married. As a matter of fact, a driver would be good enough since it was just before dawn when I arrived. To my surprise, my parents were at Costa Coffee awaiting the return of their princess. Mom hugged me so tight and kept saying how happy she was to have me back for good. Baba was just behind her with a rectangular box in his hands. He hugged me too and asked me to open the gift.
Me: OMG...A new small laptop (the 8-10 inch one)! ....in my favorite color! Thanks so much mama and baba!! (hugs and kisses them both)
Mama and baba: You're welcome habibti.
Baba: I knew it'd make you happy honey... It's got everything you need, from Vista to the accessories.
Me: Really? How exciting! (In my mind: There you go again baba... Old habits die hard.)
LOL!
My first couple of weeks seemed quite weird in the Kingdom because it wasn't like I was a returning student leaving soon, as I did for the past seven years of my life. Now I'm handing my CVs out left and right like a flyer advertising a new cafe, while hoping I'd be lucky enough to give to a big big wasta connected to a hospital. Ha ha!
Thankfully, I'm now employed and helping out various organizations with their activites that interest me. Although I still don't have much friends, I'm happy with the decision I made. And as for the matters of the heart, I'm still healing and hoping. My ex and I are communicating like best friends now and what's even better was when he told me he'd wait for destiny to bring us back together. See, my gut feeling was right! Both of us know that it's not the right time since distance will strain our relationship. As for admirers, I know they're around... in close parameters, but none are zero-ing in. Too bad for me. LMAO!
No worries, I will write when something comes up. But until then, I feel my mind's too stressed to veer into the issues of the heart. ;)
7.26.2009
my new baby!!!
Last Thursday, our car was finally released by the showroom. It was a great relief for the family, especially for baba, since they've delayed its delivery for days after we've paid it off. What's funny was that they were telling baba that they needed to get a full payment first prior to processing the license plate. Baba didn't want to do that because he knew that once they got the cash, they'd chillax and leave us chasing after them.
Mom and I didn't want to believe him at first, so we kept telling him to pay it off... I guess he had enough when he went there and settled everything on Tuesday morning. The sales representative promised baba that they'd release the car on Thursday morning, but guess what? No truck was available to deliver our car to the showroom!
Ughhh! It was such a disappointment since we've blocked Thursday morning off for nothing. Baba was telling the manager that they've gotta release the car by the afternoon or else he'd be launching a complaint.
So all they needed was a nine-letter word (complaint) to expedite the entire process. And as expected, baba's mobile went off at the exact time they promised. Thank God we didn't have any guests visiting us that afternoon.
The car was picked up well before the teenage drivers invaded the freeways and streets of Khobar. Thank God! It's really a skill to be sharing the concrete with them. It's nothing to baba but it was issue for mom since she said that the car was mine!
Mine????
Seriously? And she said, yeah. It's an automatic SUV, enough to put in all the shoes, accessories, clothes, and bags that I needed. Plus, it's got enough space to sit all my friends. It really caught me offguard and for the time she was talking... I felt the world stop. Literally.
No wonder why the letters of the license plate read my initials! I never realized it. Awww... a brand new SUV to drive around camp. What a great commodity. I could've just settled for a hand-me-down sedan, but yeah, and SUV does have its advantages! :)
As you can guess, it was difficult for me to sleep that night. Not only coz I was excited to my toes, but also coz I know having a car requires responsibility. It's not enough to have good music playing and a beautiful lady behind the wheel.
Looking at the keys laying on the table now... I'm thinking if I should drive or just take the circuit bus to the commissary. Omg, so stressful!
LOL
Mom and I didn't want to believe him at first, so we kept telling him to pay it off... I guess he had enough when he went there and settled everything on Tuesday morning. The sales representative promised baba that they'd release the car on Thursday morning, but guess what? No truck was available to deliver our car to the showroom!
Ughhh! It was such a disappointment since we've blocked Thursday morning off for nothing. Baba was telling the manager that they've gotta release the car by the afternoon or else he'd be launching a complaint.
So all they needed was a nine-letter word (complaint) to expedite the entire process. And as expected, baba's mobile went off at the exact time they promised. Thank God we didn't have any guests visiting us that afternoon.
The car was picked up well before the teenage drivers invaded the freeways and streets of Khobar. Thank God! It's really a skill to be sharing the concrete with them. It's nothing to baba but it was issue for mom since she said that the car was mine!
Mine????
Seriously? And she said, yeah. It's an automatic SUV, enough to put in all the shoes, accessories, clothes, and bags that I needed. Plus, it's got enough space to sit all my friends. It really caught me offguard and for the time she was talking... I felt the world stop. Literally.
No wonder why the letters of the license plate read my initials! I never realized it. Awww... a brand new SUV to drive around camp. What a great commodity. I could've just settled for a hand-me-down sedan, but yeah, and SUV does have its advantages! :)
As you can guess, it was difficult for me to sleep that night. Not only coz I was excited to my toes, but also coz I know having a car requires responsibility. It's not enough to have good music playing and a beautiful lady behind the wheel.
Looking at the keys laying on the table now... I'm thinking if I should drive or just take the circuit bus to the commissary. Omg, so stressful!
LOL
7.20.2009
feeling funny
My mom woke me up at 4am this morning to discuss her thoughts about the brand new car purchased last night. We have yet to bring it home since the papers and the license plate are still in process. I guess mom felt a little surreal since it's our first SUV.
With only four hours of sleep, my brain felt like it was floating on a tub full of water (hydrocephalus?? unlikely...) but I tried my best to concentrate coz I knew that mom needed someone to hear her out. We talked about parking, driving it around camp, and then taking it downtown.
It was a nice conversation that made me think of how great my day would be while taking a shower. I was full of energy when I stepped out of the house but something made it all dissapate when I got to the clinic.
First was this co-worker who was kinda rude even after I offered to hear her out about her dramatic love story. Could you believe that she even indiscreetly kicked me out of her office during our conversation?????
Talk about being rude!!
Anyway, instead of sinking in all that negativity in my system, I decided to just whisk it away since I had better issues to concentrate my energy and mind on. Such as a call from my friend who's gonna help me out in getting a part-time job outside as an RN, my class at the Recreation, and family time tonight.
With only four hours of sleep, my brain felt like it was floating on a tub full of water (hydrocephalus?? unlikely...) but I tried my best to concentrate coz I knew that mom needed someone to hear her out. We talked about parking, driving it around camp, and then taking it downtown.
It was a nice conversation that made me think of how great my day would be while taking a shower. I was full of energy when I stepped out of the house but something made it all dissapate when I got to the clinic.
First was this co-worker who was kinda rude even after I offered to hear her out about her dramatic love story. Could you believe that she even indiscreetly kicked me out of her office during our conversation?????
Talk about being rude!!
Anyway, instead of sinking in all that negativity in my system, I decided to just whisk it away since I had better issues to concentrate my energy and mind on. Such as a call from my friend who's gonna help me out in getting a part-time job outside as an RN, my class at the Recreation, and family time tonight.
Three hours later.....................
I had to stop writing since a patient came in for examination. Now, out of the hospital finished with my class at Recreation, I'm sitting on a couch with my feet up, relaxing. Yes! Most of my commitments are done for the day. :)
The co-worker I mentioned above had an even more dramatic episode forty-five minutes before I left the unit. Thankfully, no more patients came to be examined so I guess I had a couple minutes to spare. Something really bad happened to her and I just didn't know how to express my sympathy towards her (primarily because of what happened earlier this morning). I tried to use the kindest negative words but she stopped me and said I was too innocent and didn't know how horribe the world is. Okay I get that, but please, understand that I'm trying to be as tactful as I can be with you... I didn't want to say brutal comments about the 'cause' since I wasn't sure how she'd react.
(Long deep breath)
Anyway...... my class at the Recreation was really nice, I don't have any complaints. I taught them how to put make-up on themselves and on each other. It was fun and interesting but too time-consuming. We weren't able to touch on runway and posing today, which got me kinda worried. But I have confidence in my participants so I'm really sure they'll go a great job on Wednesday.
I just glanced out the window and noticed how smooth a lady parked her SUV across the street. Amazing! This really reminded me of what mom said early this morning: Sweetheart, you really need to polish on your parking. LOL!
My stomach's grumbling now so I gotta grab a snack....
Catch ya later amigas! :)
7.19.2009
miss independent... literally
An hour before my first modeling session at the Recreation I got a call from the assistant I was really counting on to help me out. She told me she was sick with a sore throat therefore couldn't make it because she's scared that the students would get infected with her disease.
Instead of inquiring further about her illness, I decided to drop it and wished she would get well soon. What struck me was when she said that she knows she won't get better until the next couple of days. (Like... really!?)
Technically, her excuse didn't buy my sympathy. Why? Mainly because a sore throat cannot be caught by people around you. There are two types, viral and bacterial. For the viral sore throat, you get the flu first then the sore throat. Whereas the bacterial type could only be transmitted through kissing.
Analyzing the sound of her voice, I'm sure she didn't have the flu... plus she never mentioned it. If bacterial, it wouldn't have mattered anyway since none of my students would kiss her on the lips.
Basically what I'm trying to get to is Professionalism. Here you are an hour before class giving me such a lame excuse about not making it after giving me your word a week ago. I mean, HELLO! People should be honest enough and tell them at least a night before that they can't make it because they just don't feel like doing so. It may sound a little cold and inconsiderate, but at least you were able to be honest about it.
Ughh, well at least I was able to survive teaching the class alone. The two hours seemed kinda slow at some point then later on it was like "Oh my God, times up already!" My students were really cooperative and seemed interested to learn.
Inshallah (God willing) they maintain this momentum until Wednesday and pull an impressive fashion show on Wednesday.
Until then, keep posted amigas...
Instead of inquiring further about her illness, I decided to drop it and wished she would get well soon. What struck me was when she said that she knows she won't get better until the next couple of days. (Like... really!?)
Technically, her excuse didn't buy my sympathy. Why? Mainly because a sore throat cannot be caught by people around you. There are two types, viral and bacterial. For the viral sore throat, you get the flu first then the sore throat. Whereas the bacterial type could only be transmitted through kissing.
Analyzing the sound of her voice, I'm sure she didn't have the flu... plus she never mentioned it. If bacterial, it wouldn't have mattered anyway since none of my students would kiss her on the lips.
Basically what I'm trying to get to is Professionalism. Here you are an hour before class giving me such a lame excuse about not making it after giving me your word a week ago. I mean, HELLO! People should be honest enough and tell them at least a night before that they can't make it because they just don't feel like doing so. It may sound a little cold and inconsiderate, but at least you were able to be honest about it.
I believe that any openminded person would just take it cooly and adjust to the loss in human resources. There's no reason to be scared.
Ughh, well at least I was able to survive teaching the class alone. The two hours seemed kinda slow at some point then later on it was like "Oh my God, times up already!" My students were really cooperative and seemed interested to learn.
Inshallah (God willing) they maintain this momentum until Wednesday and pull an impressive fashion show on Wednesday.
Until then, keep posted amigas...
7.18.2009
ana mudarissa
In English... I'm a teacher, a modeling instructor in fact.
LOL...
It gives me shivers down my spine whenever I answer people who ask,
"So, what do you do at the Recreation?"
I answer them honestly and get different reactions... For those who have known me all my life were in complete disbelief (aka: You got to be kidding me...No way!), them who have just became acquainted with me didn't seem surprised since they sorta had a feeling I modeled, and the rest were queasy coz they'd prefer me doing more professional stuff (hmmm... in whatever definition that may mean).
FYI:
I trained under John Robert Powers in the Philippines and have joined various runway and photoshoots during my stay there.
Regardless of how uneasy my gut feels when promted with this question, I proudly tell them what I do because it's truly a source of my happiness. Working with young girls and adolescent ladies wanting to be like me and my other colleagues in the modeling industry inspires me to wake up in the morning with a extreme boost of energy enough to last until the Christmas shopping rush.
So yeah, I'm excited for my first class tomorrow and our Fashion Show on Wednesday. Yay!
my fifth attempt
Okay world... this is my fifth attempt in trying to keep up with a blog. I'm just so good with starting one yet I don't get to follow through. I guess it's coz of lack of time to get all my thoughts typed into the great worldwide web.
But since I'm now back in Dhahran, I'm sure there's always time to spare to pitch in a thought or two on this site.
Why warm snowflakes? Basically coz each sandstorm we get in the Kingdom reminds me of how grave the blizzards were when I was in Chicago. Sandust=Snowflakes... get it?? Naaaaahh, nevermind! LOL!
Keep posted fellas......
But since I'm now back in Dhahran, I'm sure there's always time to spare to pitch in a thought or two on this site.
Why warm snowflakes? Basically coz each sandstorm we get in the Kingdom reminds me of how grave the blizzards were when I was in Chicago. Sandust=Snowflakes... get it?? Naaaaahh, nevermind! LOL!
Keep posted fellas......
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