oh.....me? seriously?

Last Wednesday, after what seemed to be the longest morning of my life, I attended an appreciation cocktail for my program here at the hospital. I was so clueless of what was going to happen that I didn't even to bother touching up my make-up or even combing my hair. All I knew was I skipped lunch so that I could get a free load-up of cocktails and an early pass home to Bahrain.

My friend and I was quietly chatting with each other when the recognition for the 'cream of the crop' was to be presented. The head of our program mentioned that there were two people who were going be awarded. That's when we paused for a bit then began placing our bets on who we thought would be called up. My friend rarely knew anyone so she chose the girl who was like the PA of the program head, I placed my bets on the girl who worked at the building across mine.

To our surprise, the first one called up was a guy. I have no clue where he was assigned or what his name was. When he was walking up to receive his award, my friend whispered that the next one would surely be a woman since a guy has already been called up. Okay, so our bets were still on.

Program head: "We also want to recognize warmsnowflakes* for her job well done.."

I sank deep in my seat. Did she just say my name? Is this for real? OMG!

My friend beamed this huge smile at me and told me to hurry up and get the award. I was still in a state of shock because I knew I just did my job not anything extraordinary. My mind was floating on so many questions yet I managed to walk up on stage and pose for the photo-op at the stage. My program head was so proud of me too; the hospital's top management was also present and I was shocked when the Director of Nursing personally congratulated me on my way back to sit. I never thought she'd remember how I looked like.

Majority of the participants in the program were women, I received a lot of stares while walking back. I even noticed how my bet stared at me as I walked back. My friend was so happy and congratulating me even as I sank back down in my seat. And then while everyone was being called up to receive certificates, my mind was spinning as I looked back the past couple of months to reflect on what special duty I've done.

Since I started working with the hospital, I've always always made sure I would walk the talk. If I told them I'm good at this, I am. If I'm not, please find someone else better. I believe that I did what every ordinary employee would do.

I catch myself staring at the certificate I received and I still can't believe why I was chosen. I can't stop thanking God for the blessing He has given me because I know that this honor will surely boost my chances of a brighter future. I just wish I was given a chance to talk after receiving the award, like the Oscars or Grammys, so I could share it with everyone else. Me being appreciated doesn't mean that everyone else just slacked.

If they had given me the opportunity to address the crowd, I'd tell them how humbling it feels to be representing a dignified crowd and how I'd like to share the recognition with everyone else. I remember how baba kept lecturing me on humility. He'd always say that regardless of how many recognitions or awards you've received, or maybe none at all, the most important thing that you should remember is:

You know you're good, and that's all there is to know.

I don't need to tell a thousand people about my recognition. Actually, I thought twice about writing this blog entry today... as you can tell, it's been five days since Wednesday. I wrote because I know that in a couple of days my face would right smack on glossy paper with the recognition cocktail's description around it for everyone to read! Honestly I'm feeling quite ambivalent because it's my first time to be published in this side of the world. I'm sure that many people will react and tell baba they have heard of his daughter's recent achievement, and inshallah all comments will be positive. I'm just a little nervous on how the picture would look like and what they'll be writing about me. I trust the columnist would write nice things about me and my quest for career advancement.

The attention it'll draw is unpredictable, but I'm really excited. It's like being a celebrity waiting for an ambush interview to be published. I don't wanna be so coy or snotty about this, but yeah... I hope it's good publicity.



And I'm now praying for miracles and opportunities around the corner. Wish me luck!

*sorry I can't put my real name